The Mixing Bowl

moving!

2007-05-04T03:35:00.000-07:00

MY NEW BLOG

somehow or rather i was not really keen on moving my blog
i seem to have an odd attachment to this place but as with all things
lets be courageous and try something new (:

so relink me with the new link of my blog which happens to be called
"many overspent calories"

haahaa

love, eileen

ps: this feels kinda sad for a certain reason... :(
isnt this supposed to be IT which means i am not supposed to feel anything!

On off buttons

2007-03-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

buttons.
this has nothing to do with the PCD highly carnal song. rather it was just a word that popped into my head while i was doing my QT.
for many of us our relationship with God is like this emergency button where in a moment of panic or fear or emergency (essentially a situation that is out of control) THAN we seek God than we look for Him and ask "O lord let the rain of your presence fall on me".
i admit that sometimes even i am like this.
i get carried away i stray and later on i return.
after which this led me to think what can we bring unto God?
everytime we sing we say "Lord i give u my heart" and before we know it WHAM we are sinning again.
what can we bring unto God?
what can sinners bring to the presence of God?

i dont know about you. but for me, i never want my relationship with God to become one that is an emergency button.
the BIg red emergency kind in cartoons where in emergency it blinks with a red light (making you even more kan cheong)and you just WACK darn hard and than POOF you are safe.
i want my relationship with God to be a steady one.
steady growing one.

also this is one QT where i suddenly recalled a conversation i had with a fellow colleague and it got me thinking.
CALLING.

defense. offense. WWJD.

Que sera sera

2007-03-26T06:27:00.000-07:00

Super addicted to this new korean drama called que sera sera that was filmed in singapore. (which i had great fun catchingthe cast ^^)
its darn good. haahaa i like it cos its fast paced and i think to some extent it challenges certain rights and wrongs as well as societal norms. you can catch the show on you tube (so far only the first two episodes have been shown) or if u like to watch things BIG BIG like me, you can have fun with a certain device called clubbox.
BUT its a rather "adult" like show do NOT expect the GOONG kind of plot.
(i dont like the GOONG kind of plot anyway. so if u find that your taste runs contrary you might not like it that much)
this show has heart and this certain intangible feeling i dont know i just like thw whole feel of it.

i really love the soundtrack of the show as well (: its really really a good soundtrack.
its been long since i love a korean show and its soundtrack so much.
the last korean show that made me wait in such anticipation was MNISKSS.
other than that there was always a lack of the "oomph" factor.

WATCH THE SHOW!!
soundtrack is baove u can listen to the starting song (:

19 experience

2007-03-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

last week was a rather eventful week for me, but happily eventful. so here i am with pictures (:
how fast time passes. its like only yesterday when eric touched down in singapore and me and xinhui chan were all geared up and excited.
the whole experience has been relaxing and fun (:

the first day and first time i met him RASA SENTOSA

WOOOOOOOO~~~

friends we made (:

the english couple who were rather amused at us (starung at eric)

no photo does eric justice. period (:

SEEN!

2007-03-19T03:36:00.000-07:00

SAW ALR! (^___^)v
very CLOSE
YESTERDAY at RASA
yay!
haahaa
will elaborate more someday perhaps
just not in the mood to expand on what happened now (:

heeheeheehee

HE IS HERE

2007-03-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

THE VIDEO
two words after i watched the video
.
..
...
SO CLOSE
little fans went cos no one knew (:
heehee
i wont mind meeting him
tml perhaps?

haahaa
God... can?

ps: wu zun is not out of favour, i shall seek to be strictly friends with him (for now)

Rest is addictive

2007-03-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

i miss japan!

spent time with God yesterday.
let's put it this way... alot of things happening.
things that i might not have the ability to deal with head on.
yet i give thanks to the Lord for his gift of strength and positivity and also very unexpectedly... JOY (:
haahaa and now i am addicted to rest! to think that yesterday i was complaining about being uneasy about rest well, now... HAAHAAHAA i LOVE it!
finished five eps of dal ja yesterday.
wah is is SOOOO therapeutic can?
just sitting there and letting my brain rot away as i get absorbed in the plot.

i m glad i have God

Rest

2007-03-13T18:27:00.000-07:00

i need rest. i know.
ever since the release of the a levels results my life has been a mad rush.
not a day spent for myself at home.
cousin's wedding, open houses, work, parent's anniversary etc etc
crazy schedules that can have me going to three different locations in a day
this is tiring
its been long since my life has been so hectic which is why the doc said i fell sick.
i know i am a person that needs alot of personal time and space
yet, oddly enough,
now that i have time to finally kick back after the hectic weeks,
i feel strange. like...
i am not used to sitting around and doing nothing at all.
dont get me wrong i really enjoy sitting in front of my computer and engaging in mindless activities
its just that i am super unused to an empty schedule.
especially when my schedule is empty and yet i have things around me that need to be done.

whatever it is i am determined that today shall be a day of REST.
SABBATH.

overhead bridge

2007-03-10T05:02:00.000-08:00

what a day.
left church feeling like crap cos of the flu and all.
"feel like crap" really epitomizes (such a word?) my feelings.
i guess i just needed a sabbath i really need rest and everything.
anyways, was not feeling too good as i headed down to newton to meet my parents and was (as usual) complaining to God.
but i am so glad that how i went up the overhead bridge feeling like crap i came down feeling slightly better.
dinner with my dad and mom further ended my night with a (:
really, i felt so loved by God through my family.
its really really the little things that matter.

MORE FOOD PICTURES

BEST MILK IN THE WORLD!!!!!!! LOVE IT haahaa (HIS and HER milk)

TRY THIS its at Toa Payoh.
its Good really the skin is sooo thin and crispy (:

My wonderful dinner of Tiger Prawns.
Hallelujah
and of course, only tasted the best because of my parent's love.

At the end of the day, i still give thnaks to the Lord.
Indeed, when i follow Him it leads to blessings 100%
He is a God that never shortchanges us (:

battle something

2007-03-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

as i was blog hopping and reading some blogs two words popped into mind

ignorant versus unaffected

you cannot be ignorant but you can be unaffected, unfrazzled by what is happening around you.
its like we can be ignorant about the world (eg should i say middle east and you go... "WHY? DOWN THERE VERY PEACEFUL WHATTTT...) we should be able to KNOW what is going on in the world but AT THE SAME TIME we still think and consider whether what is happening is right or wrong. we have to be discerning. and when i say unaffected it does not mean "wah middle east so far none of my business" rather its more like you dont go and freaking ball your eyes out everytime you read something concerning the violence there. okay the middle east thing is just an example to carry across my point.

the reason i am blogging this is because somehow or rather i feel that people begin to hobble at these two extremes. which means, they either choose to live in their lala land or else they get too emotional about lives situations. excessive of anything is not good and hence, here comes my main point of control and moderation. know what is beneficial and what is not. than again i wonder of there;s anything wrong with hobbling at the two extremes. to me i dont like things to be that way- too excessive at either end. perhaps its because i do not enjoy (for myself) like sudden outbursts or life like an emotional waterfall.

is it a matter of perspective?

perhaps i should say understanding but not conforming.
doesnt mean that just because everyone does it, its correct.
and does not mean that if no one does it, you cant.

alot of things at the end of the day, for me, comes down to a decision between me and God.
i dont want to sound like some preachy person so i will just leave it as that.

i have a fish bowl over my head
i see what is happening BUT it doesnt mean that i have to take it in (:

i am too tired to elaborate everything... if u get it you get it.

Unable to comprehend

2007-03-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

am considering locking up my blog.
we'll see how it goes.

the feelings i have now makes me ponder.
compassion? love?
compassion. love. growth.
its a personal relationship with me and my God
and He loves me all the same.
...

till i can find the words.

hear my thanksgiving O Lord, for i feel loved and honoured and oh so very Glad.

have you met your God, whichever you believe in, today?
are you able to meet your God, which ever you believe in, whenever wherever?
does Your God, which ever you believe in, love you?

if not...

banana margarita

2007-02-28T02:41:00.000-08:00

(with sugar round the rim)

this IS bliss (:

ON eating oranges

2007-02-28T02:17:00.000-08:00

I FINALLY REALISED WHAT THIS BLOG IS MISSING OUT.

ANSWER: FOOD PICTURES

this is also timely as i am not gg to blog about how my life ends on friday and how my sould will leave my body (touch wood).

so as i am eating the last few honey LU KANS of this holiday season. AND let me tell u i am a orange eating professional. I can eat the oranges in such a way that without using my hands i will be able to filter out the seeds and not bite on any of them! HA! BEAT THAT!
oh and i really really dont like oranges and seeing how i can keep eating these mandarine oranges will give u a hint of how good it is really. It has converted a firm apple supporter like me. its terrible that they only come once a year! dang! which means that will once again ( be forced) to go on a orange fast till next year...
BUT...
Its OKAY cos there will always be BANANAS!

the brand of teh ornage. basically its the one with the nic ebox and paper bag from NTUC.

i think the picture above look like lips haahaa

Today and Now

2007-02-25T08:05:00.000-08:00

alot to say...
words fail to consolidate my thoughts today.
why not i just show a verse or rather a few verses. that should suffice to tell you the going on(s) in my mind.

21 By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. 22 Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.

13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

through exodus 14 i am wowed once again. can i say this once more?
i am loved.

old and dusty=antique=priceless??

2007-02-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

its just a click away :( today finally understand what that means... considering and working out. happy chinese new year everyone!! sorry that i dont put a tagbaord for you guys to leave a mark BUT BUT if you want to leave a comment u can always use the comment section at the bottom. yes i know its more troublesome but its just that at some point in time i decided that i want to blog for myself and not for readership etc etc.

and i am here to dust off all the dust that has been collecting in this place. i have been busy with my job and the endless new year celebrations. however, one does not neglect time to talk to God and strengthen my inner man! chinese new year was a blast. i think CNY is really a wonderful time for bonding the family and bringing people closer. yes indeed this year i made and effort to talk to people that are more unfamiliar in an attempt to build better relationships with them. as i submit to God he opened doors for me and i feel that i want to give myself a pat on the back for that. as for work, i am getting more and more attached to the kids that i am teaching. as much as i like to mumble how they are monsters etc etc but u really really see the joy and value in teaching (:
perhaps a calling for me? haahaa too soon to tell actually.

i think that the a levels results will be coming out soon. and holding onto God (: for the bible says that we should not worry about tml because each day has enough worry in itself. so... yeah that shall be my anchor. God will provide.

really not in the mood to blog about deep insightful stuff all i can say that God has been good (as usual) and things have been good too. with reference to the title MY BLOG is not old and dusty but it is a priceless antique despite the lack of updates heehee.

will (most likely) return with pictures!

Ang Moh blogging (literally)

2007-02-15T06:14:00.000-08:00

yes u heard it right! i am ang moh cos i have *drumroll* RED HAIR! oh joy! *does the happy dance*

alot of things that i want to say yet at the same time perhaps i am just too lazy to type them all down. let's just say that i have learnt some very important lessons and i stand ever amazed at God and his patience with me in so many areas. at the end of the day it all goes back to God really. like the book Yu Qian lent me it brought to light something that i have never considered and perhaps even taken for granted. the book reminded me that the reason we can pray and have effective prayers is because God is willing to listen. Indeed, it all begins with his willingness to listen.

i don't want to make any absolute statements hence, its a lil' difficult for me to blog right now. as the saying goes "we never know"... i have so much to say but let's just say till i have increased understanding and wisdom i will not express my point of view just as yet (:

i am but dust and yet he makes use of me all the same.

The video

2007-02-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

here is the video.
i forget about the wonders of you tube.
heehee
let's see if u can spot the shinhwa changjo singapore orange balloons!

Break FAST!

2007-02-02T17:55:00.000-08:00

Isn't it beautiful ^^

예쁘잖아 저 수줍은 미소를 봐 아마 좋아하나봐
그 고운 눈에 담은 사랑 정말 날 위한 건가봐

고마워 너무 아까운 널 내게 주신 저 하늘에게 난 기도했어
변치않고 너 하나만 바라보는 내 사랑을 지켜만 달라고

I love you 목숨걸고 널 I love you 비가 와도 눈이 와도 너와 함께
사랑할게 이것만은 약속할게
I love you 비바람이 눈보라가 몰아쳐도
너만 오직 너하나만 아끼고 지켜낼거라고 주먹을 꼭 쥐고서 맹세해

너의 수줍은 미소 하나로 하루종일 내 가슴은 벅차오르고
너의 사소한 행동까지도 내겐 이쁘게 보이기만해

어쩌면 우리사이에도 힘든일이 있을지도 몰라
걱정돼도 내가 먼저 안아줄게
고운 눈에 눈물따위 볼수없으니까

I love you 목숨걸고 널 I love you 비가 와도 눈이 와도 너와 함께
니가 서있는 그 길에 내가 있을게
I love you 비바람이 눈보라가 몰아쳐도
뒤만 돌아봐주겠니 눈감고도 날 찾을거야 혼자두지는 않아

이젠 아무걱정하지마 네 옆에 내가 항상 있잖아
이렇게 안기면 괜찮아 너의 맘 내가 다 알아

나도 I know life is so hard yo
아마도 그대 그럴테죠 믿어줘 와줘 내 곁에만 있어줘

아픈 이별에 헤매던 못난 날 버리게
자그만 손으로 날 잡아주며 믿어준 네 마음 사랑해

내 눈엔 너만 보인단 유치한 고백으로 평생을 함께 하자고

오늘만은 꼭 말해볼거야 미소로 대답해주겠니

I love you 비가와도 눈이와도 너와 함께
사랑할게 이것만은 약속할게
I love you 비바람이 눈보라가 몰아쳐도
너만 오직 너하나만 아끼고 지켜낼거라고

가슴에 손을 얹고 주먹을 꼭 쥐고서 맹세해

Isn't It Beautiful (English lyrics translation by Kay77)

(Eric)
Girl
I just want you to know that
I'm always here 4 you
This one's 4 you, girl

(Minwoo vocal)
Isn't it beautiful! Just look at that shy smile
Perhaps she likes me
That love filled in those lovely eyes
It really must be for me

(Dongwan vocal)
Thank you. You, who is so precious
I pray to the heaven that gave you to me
Without ever changing, my love is only for you
I asked to watch over that love

(Minwoo vocal)
I love U, with my life
(All)
I love U, even when it rains
Or when it snows, with you
(Dongwan vocal)
I will love you. I promise you this
(All)
I love U, even when the thunderstorm
And the snowstorm rush in

(Hyesung vocal)
Just you, only you
I will treasure you and watch over you
With my fist held tight, I promise you

(Junjin rap)
Only with your shy smile
My heart feels like it is bursting all day long
Even your smallest gestures
Look so beautiful to me

(Hyesung vocal)
May be there will be
Some difficult times even between us
Even when there is a worry
I will embrace you first
Because I can't see tears
In your lovely eyes

(Minwoo vocal)
I love U, with my life
(All)
I love U, even when it rains
Or when it snows, with you
(Minwoo vocal)
I will be with you on that road you are standing
(All)
I love U, even when the thunderstorm
And the snowstorm rush in

(Hyesung vocal)
Will you please just look back?
Even when you close your eyes, you will be able to find me
I won't leave you alone

(Andy rap)
Don't you worry about anything now
I am always standing beside you
It will be alright if you stay in my embrace like this
I know all that is in your heart

(Eric rap)
Me, too. I know life is so hard, yo.
Perhasp it will be like that
Please just trust me, please just stand by my side

(Hyesung vocal)
When I was lost during the painful separation
You helped me letting go of that foolish me
With your small hands, you held me
And you trusted me. I love your kind heart

(Minwoo vocal)
In my eyes, there is only you
With this childish confession
Let's be together for a lifetime

(Dongwan vocal)
I really want to say this to you today
Will you answer me with your smile?

(All)
I love U, even when it rains
Or when it snows, with you
(Dongwan & Minwoo vocal)
I will always love you, I will promise you this
(All)
I love U, even when the thunderstorm
And the snowstorm rush in

(Hyesung vocal)
Just you, only you
I will treasure you and watch over you
With my hand over my heart

(Minwoo, Dongwan, & Hyesung)
With my fist held tight, I promise you

SO SWEEETTTT!! and it is dedicated to their fans!!! AHHHH! i was grinning to myself like an idiot infront of the com teehee (:
shinhwa HWAITING!! SHINHWA CHANGJO BA XIA!!!
should watch the mv for this one, its darn nice!

Not nice

2007-02-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

This is NOT good. i am sick.
oh gosh.
messy messy.
so terrible.
AHHHHH!!!
God ar God i think i am going crazy already :(

with bossa nova (so nice)

2007-01-30T03:17:00.000-08:00

yes as the heading suggests i am blogging this entry with a good bout of bossa nova in the background. i recommend this singer which i am listening to OLIVIA! she is from our very own sunny island and i enjoy listening to her. something really relaxing about bossa nova and jazz.

moments like these i really thank God for (:

alot of things have been going in my head. i feel that as i experience more i begin to learn more and as i always say understand more. understanding. this is a term that is perhaps often used by ironically, seldom understood. when we say things like " i understand" the question that remains is do we really? maybe perfect understanding will never be achieved. but i believe a way to grow in our understanding is really through experience. u will only understand when you experience.

recently i have caught in with the book buying fever. in the past, when i was doing my jc life, there was alot of books which i wanted to pick up but i really didnt have the time. now that i have the time, i have no more excuses. time to feed my long deprived soul :)

i know that it is cheaper to borrow books BUT i really enjoy buying books. to have a nice thick book on my book shelf, belonging to me that is really something that i enjoy. i enjoy flipping through the many pages of the book, letting it take me on a journey as i absorb myself in it. i enjoy pondering about the contents of the book as well as absorbing the information that the book gives me. this is like one of the rare joys of reading?

but the one thing that i like most about reading nowadays is that it enables me to block out my surroundings. i dont know why but i find great joy in this. i enjoy browsing through borders or perhaps even life bookshop by myself. taking my own sweet time to flip through the books. one of the greatly indulging things about book buying is that it cannot be rushed. take time, look through the books and decided which one you need most. or which one appeals to you most. being unable to rush something is strangely something which my choleric nature enjoys.
there is so much to buying a book. the way when you pick up the right one you know or perhaps you think u know. being so so so spolit for choice . shelves and shelves and shelves.

a cup of coffee and a book with slight music in the background... nothing really beats that.

Hot name ok!

2007-01-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

A- You like to curse alot.
B- You like people.
C- You're wild and crazy.
D- You have one of the best personalities ever.
E- Damn good kisser.
F- People adore you.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I- You have a fine ass
J- Everyone loves you.
K- You are really silly.
L- You live to have fun.
M- One to have fun.
N- You are dead sexy.
O- You are one of the best in bed.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- Fuckin' Crazy
S- Easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are not judgmental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You never let people tell you what to do.
Y- One of the best damn bf/gf one could ask for.
Z- Always ready

and so MY name ^^

E- Damn good kisser.
I- You have a fine ass
L- You live to have fun.
E- Damn good kisser.
E- Damn good kisser.
N- You are dead sexy.

S- Easy to fall in love with
E- Damn good kisser
A- You like to curse alot.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.

L- You live to have fun.
I- You have a fine ass
L- You live to have fun.
I- You have a fine ass
N- You are dead sexy.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.

conclusion i am a good kisser with sex appeal and a nice backside? HAAHAAHAAHAAHAA

God is Love

2007-01-23T07:46:00.000-08:00

what a cold night, i dont even need the air conditioner tonight. though i am slightly sleepy and groggy, i really want to complete this entry. this is one of those rare times where i once again am absorbed in the amazing draw of words. of how words impact life.

as i was doing my quiet time and reflecting upon my day, i was reminded again how God is love. really He is Love. everything he does for us stems from the very simple and true origin of love. why else would someone send his one and only son for strangers? God loves me and He definitely loves you too.

even though sometimes our stubborn unrepentant ways causes God to cause "not so good" things to happen to us but such an act also stems from love. As Shirley preached that day in church, even when God does this its for our best. To help us break out of our sin. we need to think long run and know that God knows and yearns to give us what is best. A such is harsh love like how a parent would always want the best for the child even if it means having to implement harsher measures in order to get the child to see their point.

recently, life has been filled with tons of blessings from God and i really want to bring him praises from my grateful heart. as i look beck at life before God, life after God and the journey as a christian i must say my heart is filled with thanksgiving to a Lord that has brought me so far.

when i began my Christian journey. i really really never thought where this decision would take me. from a curious heart to one that grows more and more day by day. one that yearns to walk with God more and of course a realization that He is the living God.

some things happened today that made me think (:

perhaps i do not understand alot of things,
perhaps you are going to tell me that it is a big world out there,
perhaps i will be shocked at the ugliness that i see and...
perhaps i will feel hopelessly deluded
BUT
for certain,
my God will give me refuge his wings and lead me out of things.
He will bring me peace and bring me to places and lengths that i would never have dreamed possible.
He will be my source of joy and love.

for We love cos He loved us first.

Shinhwa (:

2007-01-20T03:12:00.000-08:00

okay so you say (shin-hua) haahaa since i was saving their many odd photos thanks to a good friend of mine (smiles at xh) i thought i might as well share why i like this group like how chantel like chanel. haahaa

this is how they appear BUT DO NOT BE DECEIVED... if THEY are so cool would i like them?? haahaa

they are in fact very much like this...

totally CMI (cannot make it) when trying to act cool

when camera is on...

when the camera is off... and i like this better (:

its a grouping game you know shout the number and get the number of people in the group

at the start of the interview.

haahaa perhaps now you knwo why it is so entertaining to watch their videos cos they are in fact UNCOOL and FULL OF RUBBISH.
sometimes i wonder how can a person's brain come up with the things that they do (eg banana song, beef burger song, crab dance etc etc etc etc)

say hi to shinhwa now... HAAHAA

Korean (dynamic Koh-reah)

2007-01-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

my holiday nights hav ebeen spent catching up with three drama channels of korean shows. somebody say WOOHOO. note: watching korean dramas is NOT, repeat, NOT a AUNTIE hobby. but i must admit this time there are just too many good shows.

ah at this rate i might as well run on korean time haahaa

really really cannot wait for the subs to come out :)

First show: GOONG S

this is a not bad show at all! haahaa i feel that the main leads are really not bad contrary to all the speculation that was going around about this show. dont watch it with an expectation of the first Goong in mind. it is afterall a different show (long story about copy right issues between the two companies). do you know that the supporting actress is only MY AGE!! and she gets to be UP close with se7en (not that u really wanna be up close to him) but u get my vibe (:

this is only showing up til episode four so you will have plenty of time to catch up if you havent started.

second show: Dal Ja's Spring.

DAL JA's SPRING! DARN GOOD SHOW i tell you. if you love SAM SOON chances are you will like this as well! its so nicely scripted. some of the things she says really tugs my heart strings. i really enjoy the protryal of all the different characters. the actors are really really Good and hence, you will be able to see the distinct characterization of the various characters. GOOOD SHOW, really. Chae rim, the lead actress who acts as Dal Ja, is really fantastic. it was alomost like how Kim Sun Ah managed to fall into the role of sam soon.

this only showed six episodes haahaa so also easy to catch up with! this is really worth the watch (to me) considering the fact that i watched it without knowing any actors etc etc inside. this is one of the shows where i am watching for the show and plot itself.

Show 3: the person i love

okay i admit this show i am watching merely for kim dongwan (refer to top only highlighted character aka last picture) he is Just TOOOOOOOOO good looking. having seen him in the flesh, love increases more so i will watch this show. though its that kind of family drama that i do not particularly. moreover, it has no added lit effects like Dal Ja spring, its ONLY WATCHING FOR KIM DONGWAN. but right, the actors are good too. duh wonder kim dongwan could make it from shinhwa to actor he CAN act. after this show and the sg wannabe mv i must say he can really act. i wanna see him again :(

this one easiest to catch up TWO eps only. but well if you like drama family kind of shows this will be your cup of tea. note: no lit element except characterization, which is just average so far.

let's just say i need a retreat with myself.

credits to the people at SOOMPI for the pics!

My pet PEEVE

2007-01-16T07:42:00.001-08:00

SMOKING

i really really HATE it when people smoke. nope its not a tiny dislike but i am really DISGUSTED by it. (note: i am even more irritated by smokers that by people who call people using the smooch sound)

okay at the risk of reapeating all the health education lessons LETS STILL GO THROUGH what is in a ciagrette

okay LOOK AT THE DIAGRAM ABOVE. YOU (should you smoke) are essentially INHALING the things that say we use to KILL insects, the BASE of a bbq pit and oh yes should i highlight the word POISON for you as well?

i think smoking is really one thing that gets on my nerves. People who actually pick up smoking just manage to get on my nerves even more. have u ever seen that gorgeous female or good looking male only to look down and see INSECTICIDE dangling from his fingers? well that is essentially IT when you smoke.

oh dont let me stop here i want to GO ON on the side effects of SMOKING

Immediate effects

Smoking one cigarette immediately raises a person's blood pressure and heart rate and decreases the blood flow to body extremities such as the fingers and toes.
Brain and the nervous system activity is stimulated for a short time and then reduced.
A smoker may also experience dizziness, nausea, watery eyes and acid in the stomach.
Appetite, taste and smell are weakened.

Other effects of cigarette smoking

Smokers typically experience shortness of breath, persistent coughs, reduced fitness, yellow stains on fingers and teeth and decreased sense of taste and smell.
Smokers have more colds and flu than non-smokers and find it harder to recover from minor illnesses.
Smoking can cause impotence in men, while women who smoke are less fertile than non-smokers.
People who smoke tend to have facial wrinkles appearing much earlier and, in general, look older than non-smokers of the same age.

Smokers have an increased risk of developing:

respiratory infections such as pneumonia and chronic bronchitis;
emphysema (a progressive and potentially fatal lung disease);
heart attack and coronary disease;
cancer of the lung, throat, mouth, bladder, kidney, pancreas, cervix, stomach;
stomach ulcers; and
peripheral vascular disease due to decreased blood flow to the legs.

A person who is dependent on cigarettes may find that they experience withdrawal symptoms when they cut down or stop smoking cigarettes. These can include:

increased nervousness and tension;
agitation;
loss of concentration;
changes to sleep patterns;
headaches;
coughs; and
cravings.

oh yes BY THE WAY ONE IN TWO SMOKERS DIE OF THEIR HABIT and IF ITS NOT ENOUGH THAT THEY KILL THEMSELVES THEY HAVE TO AFFECT OTHERS WITH THEIR PASSIVE SMOKE. WONDERFUL.

ha! i just had to say all that its been one of my greatest pet peeves for the longest time and today i just had this sudden urge to blog everything out. honestly think about SMOKING and how will a decision to smoke seem LOGICAL to ANYBODY? spending more that TEN BUCKS to SHORTEN your life. seriously this is one area where i have no patience to tell people nicely or persuade them. HONESTLY, if YOU HAVE A BRAIN STOP SMOKING.

long awaited... PHOTOBLOG

2007-01-15T05:48:00.000-08:00

someone say FOE-TOE-BLOCK
yes i am back!!! haahaa and with photos.
on the 10th of january was my 19 BIRTHDAY and i really really want to thank those people who took the time and effort to make my birthday a special one.

From my family, EIGHT chipmunks in a box haahaa placed in a BOX to hide my gift ^^

my very sweet cell group ^^ and i saw all their backsides heeheehee

my very dear normal/ abnormal gang

evidence that i planted the seed haahaa

my cake ^^ banana chocloate!!

my very SWEET cousin who STILL owes me her photo and gave me a SUPER SWEET phonecall.

thanks to all for their various sms(es) to wish me happy birthday.
in this birthday i think i have come to a point where i really look beyond the material. i see my dad's efforts to hide my present as well as "wrap" my present. my mum and brother who really went to great efforts to get me things that i will like and do things with me that i will enjoy! Chantel and my cell groups efforts to show me that they care and love me loads. a big thank you for all their affirmations and efforts. my SHEPHERD is LOVE!! haahaahaa her effort i really really appreciate thank you sheppy! NORMAL AND ABMORMAL GANG!! haahaa CHINGOOS SARANG HAE!~~ i really love them tooo! their thoughtfulness for the gifts and the effort to take time out to get my my gifts haahaa and for the korean meal as well.
and of course Heng who is in hk and Kit in army for their sms(es) LETS HAVE A BIRTHDAY TREAT SOON FOR ALL OF US!!
and everyone else for their smses! really received some very pleasant surprises.

THANKS TO THE LORD ALMIGHTY for his love and grace to me.
i have so much more to say but til i can gather everything let's just say that God is good, all the time and all the time He is good.

two o o se7en

2007-01-03T06:38:00.001-08:00

its a new year so i didnt want to start off this not so wonderful new year so far with a deep serous post rather indulge me and let me load you with a few apparently(s) i discovered in my life recently.

no 1: my phone bill totalled up to X amount ( which is a BIG figure for a phone bill) so APPARENTLY i have no FREE incoming call.
no 2: i went for some add job interview and APPARENTLY i tend to ramble off my mind when i am nervous
no 3: went job hunting recently and APPARENTLY finding a job, contrary to what i thought, is rather difficult.
no4: job hunting showed me that APPARENTLY an A level cert is nothing much really. (inititally i thought that the A level cert would be able to find me a job easily since a level holders can do teaching but oh well... lets just say i am small and the world is big.)
no5: my wireless is not working but APPARENTLY (having called IBM and singnet they informed me that) everything is FINE :(
no6: creative is no longer creative or rather APPRENTLY stuck at being creative forever.

well this year has very CLEARLY not kick off to a wonderful start not to mention the health of my family members seems to have kicked in on a not so good note at the start of the year. oh well i have to just grit it all and walk on.

struggling and perhaps even fighting.
but all for the better eventually
i am small my world is big BUT my God is bigger than the world
AMEN.

this is one of the days where due to the responsibility of freedom of speech and expression i feel like i dont really want to say much.

basically i feel like a paradox now :(

Endless discovery

2006-12-26T22:19:00.001-08:00

as this year comes to a close i ponder over the changes that i have made throughout this year. i ponder about a million things and most importantly i ponder about my decision to become a child of God and where it has taken me. i can safely say that i have not regretted this decision. it is a decision that was perhaps made with little understanding but a decision that reaped great and fabulous rewards and of course, a degree of increasing understanding.

as i write this entry i begin to discover my great love for writing in itself. i love placing my emotions in words not to seek understanding or recognition but merely to express myself. there is a certain joy ( and sometimes fustration) in finding the right words to depict the life you go through and share the emotions that you experience.

i have learnt to let go of certain things and to be patient for others. while i still need to undertsnad and grow to a greater degree i choose to keep the faith and belief.

one thing that has been greatly impressed upon my heart this year is the need for a firm unwavering faith by which you make all your decisions. some may find this in their family or perhaps friends. but for me (having tried various alternatives) i believe that the only place where i will place this firm grounding by which my life and my decisions stand would be that of God. feel free to explore deep within yourself and see for yourself where or what does your whole life base itself upon. i think you might just be shocked with what you find. when you have your answer, or when you discover that you have a lack of an answer, it will put into place alot of questions you might have in your life. everyone needs something to base their life upon perhaps a set of value system that does not change with time. the crux perhaps is not in whether it is right or wrong but more of whether YOU can live with it. if your grounding is weak you will constantly feel your world being thrown out of proportion you will feel deluded and eventually, lose your sense of hope.

the last paragraph was really difficult to write as i approached it trying to divide my views from my christian faith. it seems somehow or rather the two are as one. as i walk on this road called life i begin to realise that every person and every circumstance brings about something that we can learn. nothing is insignificant. and of course i believe that nothing is by conincidence, i just refuse to go through life believing that it is made up of chances and luck. this point of view i feel makes the meaning of life ring deafeningly hollow.

a touch of love

2006-12-18T05:09:00.000-08:00

ahhhhh!!! just saw the new photos of dongwannie on changjo. MY GOODNESS. i am torn between joy and anger haahaahaa

this is the rather recent photo of wannie... taken in secret by a fan. HOT
this is why SINGAPOREAN MEN are not that attractive :( after seeing him the rest of the men in sinagpore should go and take into serious consideration the term GOOD LOOKING.

and this is his MOST RECEMT DRAMA photo . i tell u ar that GIRL is so darn lucky. if i were her i would go sit in a lil corner and count my blessings and hallelujah. AHHHHHH!!
so ROMANTIC ^^
oh man i dont mind marrying someone like him (:

And i am beautifully and wonderfully made

2006-12-04T18:55:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was such a wonderful and refreshing day. through the PM i really really want to hang on to God's promise. there is simply no other way no other alternative. He is the answer and the solution to my life. Indeed, i am fighting FROM victory and not FOR victory.

thanks to my sheppy for her life which i find really encouraging. yesterday i asked her is she believes that one day her mom will get the whole "thing" behing what she was doing and from her simple "yes" and faith it really really gave me more faith to keep going. so thanks sheppy for the encouragement ^^

heehee so long since i last photoblogged so i shall! with grandma's birthday!

The guy couisns! ^^ this photo is so cute haahaa
Everybody!!
the female couisns!!

grandchildren
aka my grandma and her children's children

my grandma and her children

did i mention that my family can really make noise? haahaa i think we thought that the reaturant was ours ^^ what a nice dinner... really glad that i am blessed with this family.

Aigooo~

2006-11-30T03:50:00.000-08:00

WAH let me tell u three words... LIFE IS GOOD
do you know the feeling of sitting in front of the telly and not having to do anything?
so basically you just relax there and feel like the frivolous activity is taking shape ^^
i... HIGHLIGHTED my hair, CUT it YES YES YES!! its not just ANY yes yes yes BUT its the one from the herbal clairol essence shampoo one YOU KNOW???
for dont know how many months beacause of my a levels i dont have time to settle my long unruly hair. NOW.... YES!!!!!!! YESSSS!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!
i am still wondering if i should go on blogging so til than... i will just try my best to update at randoms haahaa
ahhh i m so lazyyyy to do the things i need to do like go to dah"s photobucket to get the photos.
bleargh.

Groovin Mooovin'

2006-11-17T03:10:00.000-08:00

Groovin Moovin!

okay TWO more papers to my road ot liberation. which also means...
SIX more essays T___T
you can do it eileen you can do it...
honestly i dont know how i will do...
i dont even know what to think already
so my solution is simple
regardless of what i may feel i choose to turn to God and have him lead me
for it is said in the bible "who by worrying can add a single hour to his life"
so in the midst of all these i have made a concious choice to trust in the Lord almighty.
afterall this is what more of him and less of Me means.
in order to let him be the center it is not a coincidence.
its a concious choice, we have to make it...
i dont know what will happen but i just pray

O Lord give me the courage and assurance as i walk with you and place my trust in you. i am inept in too many ways.

There is no other way than movin' and groovin' with the one who created the earth.

Moving On..

2006-11-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

Moving ON

so long since i last blogged.
dont see the value or purpose in blogging anymore ^^
at the end of the day i ask myself why do i keep this blog?
afterall, i have God!! Mr Almighty.
is this a blog some king of validation that i dont need anyway?
i used to blog maybe because i felt insecure? i dont know either.
i guess i just did it because everyone else was doing it.
nowadays? i blog mostly to just keep in touch with my friends and let them know how i am doing.
a sort of life sharing experience i guess.
i dont really know... but all i know is that the motives have been altered alightly.
As i follow God more these things seem to take on a different value (let's put it that way)
once again i am humbled and reminded of his greatness
what the Lord gives the Lord can take away as well

REALLY LESS of ME, MORE of HIM ^^
i agree with my shepherd totally beofre i can do anything i first need to get things right with God.
regardless of the world, my cirumstances or whatsoever there is just no excuse to run away from God turn rebellious or haughty
having my feet firmly planted on the ground nowadays.

for his glory and not mine.

O Lord i pray that as i walk with you let me grow in YOUR ways. Let my heart be changed to follow your heartbeat closely....

On cute things

2006-10-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

On cute things ^^

This is sooo cute haahaahaa
the lil girl on top also!

On life's nitty gritty

2006-10-09T04:33:00.000-07:00

On life's nitty gritty

Nowadays i dont really blog much alr because i DID THE STUPIDEST THING ON PLANET EARTH. i spent one WHOLE week doing french revolution only to go to school today and realise that i cannot DO ANY OF THE QUESTIONS. so EFFECTIVELY i am dropping the topic now. AHHH *mumble grumble* i am tempted to the BRIM to SWEAR right now ok NOW. ahhhhhh. okok *inhale exhale* MOVE ON...

anyway the lil' prince in my house/man of the house 2 (aka my younger brother) is going camping on thursday. i am not really worried about him cos i am sure 100% that he will be FINE and i think he needs to toughen up. if not ar will really be super "girl" when he grow up. haahaa did i mention that my brother likes to be clean?? wait til he has to do the mud bath in camp MUAHAAHAAHAA. but really hope that this lil' fella will come out fine (:

on a lighter note, i dont know what is it like or how to pinpoint my feelings but sometimes i really really do not iwhs to see "more of the wor;d" or "how the world is really like". yet i know that the whole process will be inevitable. i know that some people might find the idea of venturing into the wolr das very exciting and i like it too at times but i just dont want to be push too far out THERE. than again. going out there does not literally mean having to conform to what the world is. it does not mean that i have to do what people do. i guess this is the time where i really look to my yardstick and value system and stick firmly with what i think is right. i dont knwo aabout others but i guess when the moment comes and when "harsh reality" slaps me in the face (should it happen) i will just hold on to my beliefs in God and have faith that He will lead me through.

jamie always asks me how i can believe without questioning or doubting, how can i have "blind faith". i believe because i experience and i know. its like how you dont see gravity and yet you know that gravity exists! why? because you experience gravity. to me, both work on the same logic.

On frivolous things

2006-10-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

On frivolous things

today as we left reena's house and were very noisily approaching the mrt station, there was sudden outbursts on what we should like in a guy. Reena and Dah claims to go for personality ( no need to be goodlooking but must be CUTE or something like that la) basically, as we prefer to put in (and dah herself admits) they like ugly things. haahaa. so using some very high tech moving pictures (HA!) we shall take a look at what we ALL like.

i like... the bottom

Did i mention that i like idiots?? haahaa this guy is what a guy should be... good looking and FUNNY. witty guy kim dong wan tops my list.
see good looking and personality rolled into one.
if dah and reena were looking for something lasting this one has it.
will throw him out the window if he come ag and !@#$^&*&*&$$ again

This is Good too!! haahaa he is soooo CUTE. but not idiotic enough (:
BUT HOT and idiotic SOMETIMES
traditional korean man though... hmmm...
STOP SMOKING AND WILL PASS

CHAN XINHUI likes the below

watch it move and i dont have to say more

Its all about the manliness (: security and the smile that makes your heart skip a few beats.
XINHUI LIKES THE ABOVE TOO!!
okay maybe should find him something that does him more justice but..
ANYWAYS she like him
name M for MINWOO of course (:

DAHNEELA likes this watch below

yep HER definition of cute...
you know its NOT that he does not have nay nice pictures its just that DAH likes him like this she refers to it as "THAT EXTRA SOMETHING" which she and reena both agree on. HE DOES HAVE IT just that, okok we shall not be superficial.

so as we can all see our tastes REALLY VARY. from end of the spectrum to the nest but LADIES BEHOLD i have something that i think we can all agreee upon...

ITALIAN WORLD CUP TEAM IN A D&G ad for.... UNDERWEAR
need i say more ladies?

Hour Glass Theory

2006-10-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hour Glass Theory

ten more days to the end of my jc life, offcially. study break comes and WHAM a levels will be in my face. kinda relcutant to end this period of my life at times as i feel that thw hole experience in NYJC is one that has taught me alot. It is also a place where i have met many amazing people. to use a most cheena pok way of saying things " TIAN XIA MEI YOU BU SHAN ZI YAN XI" or in english it simply means " all good things must come to an end" haahaa (*cringes* what a CHEENA SAYING!!!) but nvm i think apart from the stress and everything else i feel that taking a macro persepctive this is indeed a great schoolong period for me (:

nonetheless i think recently its just been constant reminders on how once a moment or time passes it will never come back again. i dont know why (maybe its the a levels syndrom) but i begin to see the need to pass each day the best way you feel possible. no more floating around and all but i have been checking my yardstick more and more often recently. though it can really really be more frequent and consistant but at leats its begining to take place. i think that the worse feeling in the world is whereby you pass a day not knowing what you're doing. that has got to suck. its the whoel pointless existence that i really dislike.

heehee Mummy is cooking a great lunch time to scoot off ---->>>>>

Down to the very last bone

2006-09-29T05:17:00.000-07:00

Down to the very last bone

ah well yes i am just about to get started on studying. i think at times i just totally come to terms with the fact that i need to study, period. so like i always say "happy also study not happy also study so might as well be happy and study" ya? (ps: might just regret saying this after doing my econs later on and come here and do a angsty post)

okay now on to what i have actually been up to. actually these few days have been rather hectic and i have been making a concious decision to spend some time alone (other than in achool that is). hmm.. what can i say it has been therapeutic for me. i think sometimes we just wanna lay back and let everything around us fall away for a lil' while. i think that at times we get too carried away with life and all its hustle and bustle that we begin to lose track of things i think that at this time perhaps is where alone time and good ol' forms of enjoyment such as the tv comes in (:

the stupid norton scan is slowing down my whole come so i need to stop blogging soon cos i think this entry will take forever to publish. and clubbox quick download isnt even working ahhhh *beep*

will come back after more retreat time.

malaysia... truly asia

2006-09-25T03:11:00.000-07:00

*sings* malaysia... truly asia

shall do a photo blog about the trip one day and YES the visit to sentosa too!

ahh its getting more and more difficult to muster my LAZY bum to come and blog. its times like these when i wonder when blogging will just totally become redundent. but nonetheless, the pass few days have been good and i really need to get back into the swing of things again and this just puts :( on my face. but on the bright side, this was a FANTABULOUS recharge weekend. so a BIG grin for that.

oh yes i have like terribly weird thoughts in my head. you know just today i was wondering say if u are a rich kid now will you become poor later? it always seems that way huh unless u are so rich until u have so much to spend otherwise its just like... u will not be as rich as your parents. aiyah i also dont know what i am saying anymore.

no more procrastination just move on and get my ass on that line again.
oh boo.
read mel's blog i wanna ice skate. (not that i can la, not YET)

The sun is shinning (:

2006-09-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

The sun is shinning (well, not literally)

a few more hours to temporal (sp? or is there even such a word) freedon
a few more hours to sentosa
and a few few more hours to MALAYSIA TRULY ASIA

*prays hard that nothing goes wrong*
even before i go there i MUST thank zying first for having us over at her place! KUM SA HA MI DAA!!

i really wanna thank God for the uctm meeting just now. i think that it was a really refreshining and anionting time. and i am really glad i made my way there regardless of whta heart condition i have. must really thank debbie for her affirmations. although i think that affirmations and complaiments are really great to recieve i really dont know how to like react to them. i will feel slightly awkward but nonetheless HAPPY (: heehee you go figure that out.

oh yes one thing i msut say. why dont i link my friends blogs? well cos i respect their privacy. i know that this is the world wide wed and essentially there really isnt mich privacy to speak of anyways but hey, i do what i can la. and i odnt really think that some of my friends want their lives to be that "open".

sidenote: not making much progress in lit ( i alr feel like sleeping)

Just a few darn blocks away

2006-09-16T09:15:00.001-07:00

Just a few darn blocks away...

sometimes, like now, i wish i understood more.
how do i even begin?
it hurts me to see her like this
i dont even know how to form the sentences properly
what happened? i have no idea either.
i just wanna do something about it. something, anything. just to have her healthy again.
i pray with all my heart that God will equip me for this though i am clueless as to how to approach it.
sorry for the inchoherency
not a good time to blog at all.

i just want to bring about a change for you.

NAH pictures (:

2006-09-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

heeheehee i saw the above lehhhh need i say more??!!! WOOHOO~~~

Changed blog template.

2006-09-15T18:50:00.000-07:00

Changed blog template

woke up EARLY this morning INTENDING to study and in the end here i am changing my blog template.

looking for a banana template but SOMEHOW cannot find one tt i like. so i shall induge in my red fetish.

i love my new blog template i feel that it really refects who i am (:
heehee and if you go and see grace's new template you can clearly see where our personalitues contrast. haahaa

woah two more freaking papers and i am so done with this prelims... thing....

enjoy the new template as i indulge in my favourite colour red.

State of the Art

2006-09-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

State of the Art <3

WOAHHH!! finally managed to pick out some free time to blog after the concuss i suffered on SUNDAY. MY GOODNESS.

SHINHWA ROCKS MY SOCKS CAN!!! WAHHHH~~~~~~

all the screaming for JUNJIN M DONGWAN etc was all worth it!!!

we were SO CLOSE to the stage.

no regrets even if it means my voice felt slightly hoarse and that i have to deal with the withdrawal sympthoms (sp?).

ahhh i now have a damm weak heart <3

ok so here we go again

2006-09-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

OK so here we go again

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*inhale exhale*

so close SO close to getting the backstage passes!!! T________T

no matter what still must study not like shinhwa will save me if i fail my prelims.

aigoo~~

Unfailing Love

2006-09-09T02:52:00.000-07:00

Unfailing Love

today's entry like today's title is simple.

have you ever felt unworthy?

sometimes we do and when i first became a christian i really didnt understand why some people in prayer say that "we are so unworthy God for your presence" and all. But now i understand. i think God's love for me is really very great. indeed i am unworthy YET He still loves me all the same. he still picks me up when i stumble and his grace covers me again and again when i sin.

You know the depths of my heart and you love me the same.

Eat, Food, Life

2006-09-06T07:13:00.000-07:00

Eating together is sharing each other's soul- POE

how true that is (:
maybe that explains why i love food so much.
somehow, for me, food and friendships seem to go hand in hand.
i enjoy the process of eating and i definitely enjoy eating with people that i love. i feel that the whole process is a very relaxing one, for me at least.

read melissa's blog and she quoted on how the PM wanted pple to have kids and how all his campaigns are not working... and there are some things which i wanna say as well.

first things first birth rates unlike smoking is not something which you can deal with using nice fluffy campaigns/ propaganda or whatever that is just simply not the case. has it ever occured to the government why people refuse to have kids? i dont know about others but for me i absolutely REFUSE to place my kid in the same education that i am in it is really (as melissa put it ) a humongous and perhaps even pointless pressure cooker of singapore's education system.

i know that the process of succeeding in society aint easy, i know that it involves hard work BUT the education system in Singapore has evolved to such a point whereby its no longer even about learning. every single person is just being obsessed with the mad rat paper chase and crippled by the fear of failure as failing would very simply mean that you will not do well in society.

Please do not give me the airy fairy details about how we can suceed in life even if we fail in this pointless education system. how many sim wong hoo(s) and geroge quek(s) can we produce? if you honestly believe that there is a high chance of you suceeding without getting a decent education you would be very sadly mistaken and perhaps even self dillusional. you have a SLIM chance but not very MAJOR at that.

moreover some people who fail are not really less bright perhaps only less inclined in the memory work of books and more books. MAYBE they are just more suited for other areas which society just doesnt really give them recognition for. sometimes there are just too many social stigmas.somtimes i feel that the education is just like a funnel over our opened mouths, and they just keep pouring in water til there comes a point whereby you just burst and everything comes spilling out. so whether you suceed or not depends on how much "forced funnel water" you can drink.

the terrible education system aside lets talk about the fundamentals of learning. why do we learn? because of interest because we want to know more? sadly in singapore we learn because it is a pre-requisite for us to survive in society. so we place ourselves in situations whereby we are unsure (even after all that education) whether we are digging our own graves or heading towards our success. we have university graduates drinving cabs at one point and that doesnt say much does it?

so if this is case why in the world would i bring a KID into such a situation? call me practical or maybe materialistic but i would want to make sure that when i have a kid i will have to be rather well off to ensure that he/ she does not have to get caught up in this rat race that i am in. it will be a priviledge that i did not have but would like to have it extended to him... (: perhaps this is why there are falling birth rates and isngaporeans just dont wanna procreate anymore.

perhaps we are really a too fortuante lil' island that we have come to the point where we can fine tune so many things even our education system. perhaps, this fine tuning is actually a blessing i dont know.

i wish i could word this entry the way i really want. but hey with freedom comes repnsibilty no?

bliss in simplicity

2006-09-05T17:38:00.000-07:00

Bliss in Simplicity

oh wells, i suddenly find that ohrase really very true after yesterday's outing with grace and kitson (: the things we do that just put a smile on my face like eating a whole tub of vanilla ice cream at one goal ONE LITRE!! woohoo.
and before that munching out at chonmp chomp to...
1. stingray
(grace say must eat more cos it killed steve irwin.)
2. LALA
3. SOTONG
4. Oyster Egg
5. Carrot cake
6. Hokkien mee
7. small kai lan with button mushrooms
8. 1 litre of ice cream
9. 3 JUGS of sugar cane
10. (eh dont think there is anymore...)

shall upload pictures another day since blogger is not cooperating!

Live Healthy?

2006-08-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

Be careful i BITE

wah econs is like a !@#$&*( subject! i did econs and my head is like SWIMMING i tell u! urgh. thank God later i headed down to the SIA sports club hit the gym (yes u heard me right!) and swam. and after that i ate FRENCH FRIES by the pool. heehee

Introducing (from left) PSYCHO, dahneela's orange thing (no name yet), TOFU and POOPEY.
the latest spring/ summer collection of accessories by BONDI(s) and YES it has your VERY OWN birthdate on it ladies and gentlemen.
ps: it should be noted that it reflects the owner so if YOURS looks like a psycho than..
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

thank you BONDI!!!
i<3 u!!!

oh this weekend has really been good. its really one of those family fulfilling weekends where its just my dad, mum, brother and i spending some good ol' quality time together. saturday we went down to sentosa where we played with their new attraction called the LUGE. its lots of fun. and today we went swimming and to the gym!! haahaa i feel so darn healthy now la. quite tired also oh wells, in a nutshell its a great family weekend. its been a really blessed weekend.

two weeks to prelims and SHINHWA CONCERT!!!

Dont know why

2006-08-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

Dont know why

I think today is one of those days whereby i feel that there is a need for language and expression just not here. perhaps its not easy. it never was but hey, what was on melissa's blog really put a smile on to my face...

Life is a vacuum cleaner... its sucks BUT sometimes Life is a broom too! it sweeps you off your feet.

the imagery created is such a vivid and cute one. haahaahaa

if i had a twin...

2006-08-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

If i had a twin...

yeah my cousin who spent 18 years if my life growing up with me. HAHA. not joking when i say grow up together ok! same age somemore. ALL THE MENTAL ANGUISH I SUFFERED!! haahaa but i love that NUT lah :)

Family and what knots

2006-08-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

Family and what knots

recently as i get bogged down by all the work and stress i think its also a time where God has really blessed me with my family. He has really shown me how much my family cares for me. Sometimes in a family its not about the earth shaking events that you see the family unity its also about the tiny tiny little actions. Like how my dad remebers that i dont like tau pok in my satay beehoon or when my mom remembers that i like to eat certain food which i causally mention and she will get them for me (sometimes even i dont remember what i wanted to eat and she does) and aslo its about tiny actions like your younger brother pouring a cup of water for you when you just casually mention that you are thirsty.

i am really glad to have been brought up in an enviroment where i see the value of family. its just the way my family functions i guess especially since my WHOLE family is rather large. from sunday gatherings to functions and dinners, its this whole value and importance of family that has been imprinted in my heart since young (:

also recently learnt is the value of self contentment. i think that its very important to acknowledge that everyone has his or her own life to lead. even if its your bestest best friend. everyone at the end of the day have their own commtiments and family to go back to. one that you are not necessarily involved in. this may sound rather cold perhaps? but i guess it is something we must all come to terms with. its no point comapring what you have with other peopl, everyone is blessed but differently. its just like no one will have the exact same personality. same logic. i think at the end of the day we all have to be independent beings, making decisions that we can live with and not the world can live with. this to some may be a very duh reasoning but hey, more often than not (whether you realise it or not) these lessons seem simple but are actually the hardest to learn.

He is eternal therefore only in Him will everything hold and fall into place. its surprising how He changes the heart condition. i dont really fancy about talking about religion on my blog especially insights which i gain because i dont want to soung like some HOLY MOELY and also, i fear that i will not carry out what i say and have to face judegement from the people around me should i not fulfill what is necessary. but there times when i just want to pelt out everything, every inche every nook and cranney. so i just go with the flow. it is after all my blog yet at the same time i must be responsible for what i write. so complicated!!

we are still human afterall...

2006-08-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

I love love this song

oh yes and this is WHY i love RYAN STARRR (he has a beautiful name by the way)

Hmm Words words where art thou??

2006-08-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

Hmm Words words where art thou??

sometimes i really ponder to myself the words i can put across on this blog. there are just so many rules and restrictions on using a blog and being responsibile about the things you say that make me wonder if a blog is actually an online diary anymore. this week's bloggong experinece has been disturbing Haahaa. everytime i try to get online and blog i will be distracted by my MSN messenger which results in me closing my blogger window even before i rightfully begin on the entry. :( hence, the lack of updates.

yesterday in the toilet i was grousing (once again) on how i wasnt like brilliant. u know the kind of person that when the teacher says it once and SNAP! you totally get it. nope, not that kind at all. i am rather what you would call... slow in certain areas. ahhh must be the pressure of jc life gettting to me. can u imagine of i am brilliant than i will just open my *beeped out* econs text once and i will get everything. also helps in my subject combi if u have a darn good memory. my subject combi is one that is filled witha certain degree of uncertainty... heehee... we have LIT (uncertain of the crop) and than HIST ( slightly uncertain thanks to SBQ) and econs (uncertain cos of SBQ which i happen to be not so gifted in, in fact i am not gifted AT ALL in this subject so uncertainty plus 10). OH YES, and GP. GP GP GP. woah. need i say more?

but than again maybe this lack of brilliance is a way of ensuring that i give my best. ok lets see for my previous two exams it would be safe to say that i have indeed given my best (: maybe in this way its a blessing you know... no regrets.
hope that i will be able to say the same for my jc exams!

love to kill is airring tonight!!!!!!! oh rain (:
get ready tissue paper and tears...

Its here!!

2006-08-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

ITS HERE!!!

on the useless stuff

2006-08-11T02:16:00.000-07:00

On the USELESS stuff

Useless of all useless is here BOUNCY!!! do what? shake hand and eat. only will shake hand when there is food. only will come to you when u have food. but so cuteee...everybody altogether now AWWWW~~
(leg at the corner belong to her owner, black dot in front is the food which we had to brbe her with to take the photo)

USELESS THING no 2. WIND. yes we wanted to use wind to take this photo somehow only dah looks nice. me and bondi look... the same. conclusion: WiND NO WiND SAME. my face still so BIG what.

OH this photo is just all the useless things put together. Useless DOg. useless PBC. useless firewood and useless toilet paper (: haahaa

Wah MALU

2006-08-08T06:27:00.000-07:00

wah MALU.

urgh today has to be ranked as one of the most embarrassing days of my life for one MAIN reason. i vomitted in the cab. yeah u heard it right! a 18 yr old vomitted in the cab. the most embarrassing part was the process to the moment of vomit

*me talking happily to Xinhui on the phone-> suddenly feel like vomitting-> grabs plastic bag-> hangs up*
me: mummy i wanna puke *PUKKKEEEEE*
my brother: DONT BREATHE!!! I CANT BREATHE!

like THANKS lah.

it just all came out the moment i finished that sentence :p oh gosh. terrible huh.... :( quite malu also cos i vomitted next to the uncle as i was sitting in the front seat and i myself thought that the puke was smelly needless to say he must have thought so too but he couldnt do anything about it. my brother's shouting didnt help at all.

today school was flag day but i think the class made it interesting i mean how can life not be interesting when u have a walking radio with u with various channels. like GOLD 90 (ja**e), 98.7Fm (mel and dah), CENSORED CHANNEL (zhi****), techno (crazy frog) and korean/ attempted korean channel (SU JIAO DAI).

oh yah and got opera (jami* and PBC).

my partner for today was obsessed with stickers so she stuck them on herself. no not the stickers but the remaining WHITE area which surrounded the stickers. to protect the identity of my partner lets call her MISS M. *snigger* she says that she is sian and wants to die than when a prey comes on she runs up and goes in a normal voice "excuse me would u like to donate" HAAHAA!! it wasnt very funny just now but as i sit her and recollect i suddenly find it hilarious haahaa thanks MATE!

hint: my partner likes the song its tearing up your *beep* wanna guess who? haahaa

light hearted entry for today. ahh popiah tml at XINHUI"S house. THANKS XINHUI in advance. and to use JAMIE's terms "i will eat many many. BOUNCYYYY here i come!!

Not in Us

2006-08-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

Not in Us

today i went to life bookshop and picked up a max lucado book"travelling light" and i flipped through the pages somehow it landed on the chapter of Lonliness. its basically about why we feel lonely and it went something like this. its like only through lonliness when all else falls through will we learn to seek god. and he said something which made alot alot of sense. he said that in the past the world had a population of 2.5 million people now they have a population of 3 billion. of that is the case why do people still feel lonely? cearly the answer to this cannot and will never be found in humans. that lil hole in our hearts can only be filled by God and God alone.

Not in Us or For Us but in Him and for Him

difficult questions, simple answers

2006-08-04T17:59:00.000-07:00

Difficult questions, Simple answers

Life aint easy at the moment! work work and work. i am really feeling the pressure. but everytime i just wanna gove up, something inside me urges me on. a sort of you can do it Eileen. i pray to God for help but somehow, i also pray that he give me the energy to fo my best. At least if i have tried my best i can deal with the consequences after that. if i didnt i will be filled with regret (an emotion which i detest). yet in times like these i feel God so much more than before. its weird huh? i guess the saying is true in darkness you will see the light more clearly than ever before.

this week (other than thursday which i spent with the gourmet bunnies) was filled with stress of a certain degree. sometimes i feel that i m scrambling to pick up the bits and pieces of my jc education life. i dont like to think of how we MIGHT not do well cos arts is always subjective. nope there is no concept. its just the "FEELING". but hey, this is NOT the time to think about all these. this is the time for me to run the last mile in this race and breathe the airrr :D thanks to my classmates for keeping me (in)sane as well. and always ALWAYS talking abpout DAILY NECESSITIES.

also its been weird recently but i was once again reminded that being happy is a choice. i mean so many pple ask how to be happy but honestly, its a choice. you are happy if u want to be. YOU. not others. just you. perhaps i have been to caught up iwth my studies and everything around me that i fail to see that i was slowly becoming tired of everything and i always choose to sleep. BUT as i always use to tell myself being happy is a choice. u may have ALOT of work but than u have control over your reaction. are you gg to do it with a joyful heart or a sad one?

as i go on in life i really pray that the lord will keep me in check. i do not wish to turn into some cynical and be so obsessed with the meaningless things in the world around me (like climbing the social ladder) i really pray that i will not do anything against my own set of morals. really. whats the point of betraying and backstabbing to get what you want? what is the point? i dont understand and i never want to understand it from their persepctive. its so scary... :)let me never become too complicated for you to understand.

a last song BY TONY RAND!!! his voice is so wonderful and this is DAHNEELA's fav song knocking on heaven;s door. his rendition is so nice.

2006-08-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

"Love Song For A Savior"

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

"my heart beats for You"

From the inside out

2006-07-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

From the inside out

God has been really good recently. hmmm how do i even start? so many things and i feel so blessed. all for his Glory and not mine, never mine but his (: and its true that u will see the light in the dark, His light.

well just now grace has this thing on the blog telling pple to write what is their most precious memory with her but kit complained that i write rubbish :/ but its honest ok!!! haahaa so i will write one here for KIT AND HENG.

heng is a very very special friend to me (: the times when we first found out how similar we were up til now has actually given me a baggage full of memories. so u want tm to pick one? haahaa so many. from the days at SR, Chingay, my first lost phone, back to 4e4 and mrs tan's " na ge grace n eileen hor yi zhi zai jiang hua" its all so weird how god really placed us with each other and have things fall into place the way they are now. really. its more than just being similar you know its also about being able to care for each other from the bottom of your heart and knowing eahc one will always be there regardless of circumstances or even though u dont sms each other daily. (:

Kitson tan. haahaa first memory? he tried to tell me a joke. but i was laughing evne before he finished it. haahaa and u know what? i didnt laugh at the punchline. HAAHAAHAA and i could feel his exasperation. his -.-" look that is so famous and the eyeball rolling look haahaa hilaarious. its funny how the friendship between me him and heng functions really, its so... naturally weird (: like i can jst go up to him in school and steal his food. thanks for the roti john. HAAHAA

so before i ramble on (i need to do work leh) guys this is for u ok! from the bottom of my heart!

My own fetish

2006-07-28T04:48:00.000-07:00

My own Fetish

fetish #1: starbucks! hot pipping mocha. and i will (hopefully) visit one of these 'traditional" starbucks overseas with my loved one teehee.

#2: a lil piece of heaven on earth! need i say more?

#3: the delicious food on my sunny island singapore!!

heehee singapore's 'starbucks'
mr durian. haahaa face was added by me!!! so cute right! loll

wahhhh! the best food ever invented

Mr (dead) crab says hi~ haahaa chilli or black pepper.

nutshell: my ultimate fetish is... FOOOOOOOOOD!

One tiny step

2006-07-26T04:26:00.000-07:00

One tiny step...

sometimes it scares me how one tiny step we make wrongly will change our whole lives. its alomost like in certain areas there is no room for redemption while others, redemption is so tough. its like imagine if i fail my a levels (touch wood), this one tiny step would have effectively flushed down all my years of education. sure we can try again but it just isnt the whole idea of failing so terrible? :(

on a lighter note, i think that i should post a few photos

dont ask me how or why the first photo was taken *looks accusingly at jamie*. someone wanted to be chinese and lets just leave it at that!
the second photo so niceee!
once again my chingoos produce nice photos!!! haahaahaa

ps: i hate heels shall wear FLATS

i want to refresh

2006-07-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

i want to refresh... and i am!

as i sit in front of the blogger homepage i really dont know what i am going to blog about but most of the time (except for the occasional droughts) the words do come rather naturally. alot of times its all hassle and we lose FOCUS. i am always surprised how cell sessions always perks me up and keeps me going. it lets me re-focus. turnh my compass into the right direction and stops me from getting to drowned out by all the hassle of daily life. seek and you will find, today that was relevant to me. sometimes things do not have to be snap snap instead, patience helps too. and sometimes there is no other way out but to wait...

more of you and less of me.
intangible and tangible.
the line between having what you want for the moment in exchange for eternity.

its the last lap my dears, lets all run to the finishing line together. no one runs a marathon only to give up at the end right? one last step and we'll be done.

of sacrifices and responsibility

2006-07-24T07:07:00.000-07:00

of sacrifices and responsibility

i guess we have reached a point of time in life where we are no longer that "free". we dont do what we want to do and rather are boggled down by what we have to do. i have always disliked a life fraught with responsibilities (which most likely explains my distaste in having kids) i like life to be filled with experience and a life that is well... just free. how is one supposed to experience life to the fullest when all we can do is worry about what we HAVE to do. not willingly but are actually compelled to.

i will gladly pick up the responsibility for caring for my loved ones just not additional responsibilities. i dont actually know how to put this in words its like... hmm... maybe the reason i cant put it down because a part of realises that part of life is responsibilities (and to avoid it all would be selfish) in itself and only with these responsibilities will you experience what is it like to be free. only than will you relish in that feeling. its like if there's no good there will be no evil right?

i guess than it all boils down to a degree of how much you love you freedom BUT does freedom mean you are irresponsible? you will inevitably have to make certain sacrifices to be free no?

its so weird that i just recently noticed this streak in myself. guess the old cliche saying that you will never truly understand yourself is true than (: you think you know and something pops up... haahaa

and i consolidate step by step.

Small reminders, big messages

2006-07-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

Small reminders; Big messages

i think everyone needs a reminder from time to time on how fortunate they actually are and if you are in Sunny singapore the reminder really isnt that far away. just click on your nice plasma 42" tv and you can see disasters or unrest of all shapes and sizes around the world.

went ahead and watched CABARET with my classmates today. on a scale of one to ten, company 100, the actualy play 2. i dont even know why in world is fei xaing on the poster since he wasnt even the lead actor. maybe its because he sings alot and adds a few layers here and there to the main plot. okay the main plot contribution was forcing it, even without him, the play would have run just as smoothly. wonderful. i think emma yong's voice is just wonder wonder ful. wow i would love to have vocals like that.

oh crap i m drowning in work... a few more months and i can dump all my terrible a levels texts!! i cant wait i cant wait...

i cant wait for my korean lessons
i cant wait to travel
i cant wait to wake up day after day feeling free
i cannot wait to have a job and earn my own keep (really i think nothing beats earning your own money, it has this sense of satisfaction attached)
i cant wait to serve Him and fill my life with his purpose
actually i think the last point is the most important (:

on a lighter and happier note i have another earhole, and i am actually thinking of getting one more!! (oh no jamie and zying i hate you!!!)

My Precious

2006-07-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

My Precious...

This and that

2006-07-16T04:56:00.000-07:00

Johnny Depp is this...

This...

and of course JACK SPARROW

WOAH! watched Dead man's chest! it was really good. wow and once again i am blown away by Johnny Depp's acting. its really good. maybe he will make a Good wenthworth considering his acting skills. better than the one in the movie will do...
saturday was a well and hectic day. church and than went out with my parents for dinner and an a movie. haahaa and very productive shopping at adidas and ice cream eating as well. dead man's chest is good and i can watch it all over again!!!!

as much as i hate the sound of it i NEED to get down to work. but the problem is i dont have any idea where to start. especially for my econs. bleargh...!!! shall need to get started SOMEHOW. and will figure exactly HOW soon by tonight asap!!!

supposed to go out with my family today but had to change plans and stay home as my grandma is ill. sigh. i really think its no joke getting old. she slipped and fell on her injured foot and now she has a swollen back :( hope she gets well soon. and so i had a totally unproductive day other than reading persuasion which put me to sleep twice i played the SIMS. yeah thats all. period zilch.

oh yes as i type this entry i am watching the MUMMY returns and the EVIL MUMMY just said this " YOU ARE YOUR FATHER'S SON" erm... DUH??!! haahaahaa. sometimes the bad guys say weird things.

is there a motivation potion one can drink to become more motivated and intelligent. sometimes i am afraid i will do badly for my a levels. no point whinning might as well get down to work.

of rock stars and hope

2006-07-12T05:51:00.000-07:00

woahhhhh!! ROCKSTARS SUPER NOVA ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!! those people there can like really really sing! zying ar i think when u watch rockstar twohill will FLY out the window (: They people there are just so WOW. unlike singapore idol which is like (...) somehow sg idol just doesnt seem quite right this year. i am just blown away. haahaa so weird considering that its my dad who introduced this show to me. loll.

http://www.rockstar.msn.com/ <--- check it out. the webbie is cool.

it is important to be secure and conetnted with what you have. there is no point in comparing with other people. it just doesnt serve any purpose. i have so many views but i just dont know how to put them all into words. sometimes i think that sinagpore keeps us all too safe. i always fear the one day of i leave this secure little island and say maybe go to america and see people taking drugs openly i will be shcoked and bewildered and maybe even walk down the road of no return. than again i see no need to be afraid because my God is an almighty God so as long as i walk in his ways and have faith i should be find. no? just some random musings (:

oh somethings i have realised recently. walking with God is not easy. nope. its not all about lala *throws confetti* and kombaya in grass skirts with flower garlands. the key would be in the fact but as so many have told me God will eventually lead you out of it and when he does somehow and i wait in expectation to see how this might be true in my life. how far will i go? i dont know as of yet but i am sure i will have all my answers in due time.

haahaa and all the superstitions fly out the window.
oh ya i have the weirdest dreams...

everything's alright...

2006-07-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

and i know it will be anyway.

i came to blogger with so much to say yet the words wont come somehow. need to do something more important first (:

...!!!

2006-07-08T04:01:00.000-07:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

loss of words.
really for the last time
what would it take for you to understand??!!
god i really really need a compass now :(
and so i move on... (:

what would it take for you to understand?

2006-07-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

sometimes i like to be melacholic and just ponder over life itself. sometimes things happend and i might not understand it at that point in time but as i progress on in life and as i try my best to walk with God alot of things start to make sense.
God speaks but as a human being, i tend to be forgetful sometimes.

focus on what is eternal. this phrase keeps coming back to me whenever i seek Him.

figured out something today... hmm.. my long lost answer has been found in whole and all along i knew the answer yet it was just so difficult. the answer is simple: unconditional LOVE. yep sounds duh right but trust me it isnt. some people are not that easy to love u know... haahaa

but i really really thank god for setting everything right. sometimes u just wanna pass the love around, its not that you'll run out anyway i have an everlasting source :)

i guess i have learnt something from this whole experience... and i am glad. have i come out stronger? perhaps. but i think what matters most is that i now have this awareness in me to hold back on certain feelings and just try and give my best. although this may not be easy and i may falter along the way i am still going to try. and as jiamin says: we are children of perfection. so yep.

what would it take for you to understand?
what would it take for you to believe?
what would it take for you to see it through my eyes?
why cant you see that there has gotta be more to life?
let Him in and let Him change you
how much can you do before you feel tired and exhausted
before the cycle repeats itself?
i yearn to see your life changed...

i finally understand what holy discontentment means.
how ironic considering that i asked the question

and i thank the Lord for keeping me safe in a crazy world.

I hear you...

2006-07-04T03:58:00.000-07:00

BUMP BUMP BUMP!!!!

haahaa life is good when you are listening to M's music in the background and you know that the midyears are coming to an end. WOOHOOO~~~ haha more secular time and time for retreat with God. ok maybe just more time with God without feeling like a constipated person who is on the nerve of getting a dirreahoe. haahaa okay that was too vivid a description.

i walk and i stumble and he picks me up yet again
i want to hear his voice yet i lock up the doors yo my heart
i pray but i am not willing to remain silent and hear him speak
so i come off angsty certain that he has abdandoned me
i believe i have faith but when problems hit i feel myself wanting to walk away
i couldnt be further from the truth
he tries to reach me time and time again
he looks beyond the surface
he sees what men can never know... he looks into my heart.

These mortal hands of mine

2006-07-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

sick. slightly grumpy at the amount of work i have to do but hey, no point being grumpy. grumpy also must do work not grumpy also must do work. oh wells, pick which one you want haahaa not much of a choice huh. so might as well have a joyful heart.

what is your purpose in life? what motivates you to wake up day after day and keep on living? everything else fades away with time some way or another. your achievements will be forgotten and overtaken one day, your friends and family are not eternal as well. dont get me wrong i am not saying that you shouldnt love your friends and family in fact i love them very much!! just that they perhaps should not be what u live for. they should not be the driving force behind your whole life because imagine when they leave u (either willingly or not) what else can u fall back on? there has to be something greater which can be placed in the centre of your life. something that you can place all your hopes in. something that will never fail or leave you. i found my answer for that something and...

i found it in God.

He really never dissapoints and will never forsake you. even when the times get tough he is my source of refuge and strength. i choose to believe in Him. i feel one sentence which Pastor Jeff often tells the new believers who are accepting Christ to be very well, amazing. "nobody can make the decision (to invite Christ into your life) for you and at the same time no one can stop you from making that decision." amazing huh how God shaped this world and his gift of free will. i stand amazed at all his plans for me (:

A psalm of David. (Psalm 23)
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Gwenchanayo

2006-06-30T06:59:00.000-07:00

"there is nothing that unbends the mind like God"

hmmm... how do i start? i just really thank God for all the people he has placed in my life. argh so mcuh to say but so... i dont know.

just have a heart of gratitude towards God for everything.

oh and i heard the song "Why" by Nicole Nordman just now. i was very touched by it (:

strudel tml strudel tml. :P

ok i need ta study study!

Refreshed

2006-06-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

Where can faith take me...

2006-06-29T02:52:00.000-07:00

if doubt my heart invades, it endangers my faith.

anyway today was the official comepletion of the first ahlf of my mid years. no idea why i am so stressed up this time either.

WAH!!! my way to destress!!!! wOoOoOooOoOOooOooO so totally HOT. woohoo.

A psycho post

2006-06-28T05:20:00.000-07:00

AHHHHH!!!

i hate mid years!!!

why didnt i study earlier!!!

*pulls hair*

or on a more pycho-tic note

*pulls hair out one strand at a time.

ok nvm nvm

MOVE ON.... (:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

okay can back to studying....

ps realised i got tagged by ZYING to do something. no time now shall do later... (:

If i had wings i would fly

2006-06-27T02:26:00.000-07:00

If i had wings i would fly... because you are all that i need.

to study. study and study. yes study. tml kfc with jamie! the new buddy meal. haahaa
10 bucks for alot of potentiallu health damaging but good food. so no complains there. urgh i deserve to be treated well as i am studying not very hard but hey, studying...

more good food. realised that i have a marking day PUAHAHAHA. one rest day.

i am running the marathon at the moment and i can only imagine what southeast asia history will be like. see lah!! i so stress til all my thoughts have become incoherent and all i am thinking about is the econs essay exam tml. bleargh.
\dont wanna blog alr :(

On Bottles of secret happiness

2006-06-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

hello... reading melissa's blog has kinda incited me to write something here though i should be studying. ill flush down the guilt for the next few seconds :)

okay so melissa mentioned in her blog that she wants to learn cooking and cook for her husband and kids in future. haahaa i, on the other hand, have no intention of doing that. i happen to like domesticated men which means my husband MUST be able to COOK (cook better than me even haahaa) and clean. you know like the jamie oliver type. wah i like that kind. and of course cannot just be a house huaband! must be successful in his own way as well, in terms of his carear. haahaa suddenly i feel as though i am asking too much. xinhui says i like losers haahaa and i admit i do *nods* i like dorks. like the CMI when they try to be romantic type. loll. i dont really yearn ot be swept off my feet somehow. nope i dont need the guy to be a smooth talker and all. i just need him to be well... a generally hygenic and neat DORK. yes yes i like dorks nono domesticated dorks.

My two favourite DORKS

and i were a millionaire i would take my parents on trip all around the world too! fly raffles class so that even when we go far away they can travel in comfort :) haahaa nope not BUSINESS class but RAFFLES class. haahaa with the longue and everything so that we dont have to fight with eveyone and queue up. i happen to be a great comfort traveller. for that matter, my aprents can travel by themselves if they want... they can go as many times a year as they want! haahaa cos they might want to like spend alone time together and my brother and i wont serve as good ornamnets. haha. but will at least travel with them once a year. and this can only happen if i 1,get rich or 2.... get someone rich. though i think the first option is better (:

Moon River

2006-06-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

hello! woah so long since i have last blogged. well i have to hit the books immediately after this entry.

well for one i LOVE GSS!! i totally adore it. went on a shopping spree with my mom today. woah!!! but my fcuk cap is still not on sale leh T_T urgh nvm thou shall be contented (: woah i am amazed at how many pretty things there are out there. things which you dont even need. woohoo. well must go mango sale. it was a fruitful fruitful day at mango sale and with the squeezing but allworth it. somehow it wasnt VERY crowded at the Lido branch but the taka brach was unbearable.

oh yes now to clear the dust off my blog. i loveee the new template (: kinda a reminder to myself.

i am begining to understand. i am begining to realise but why is it that sometimes i still have doubts... hmmm maybe its just natural? its really important to look at the way we conduct our lives than again being human we all will make mistakes and blunders along the way. hmmm... the need to understand, accept and maybe sometimes... forgive. i hate making absolute statements cos i am damm afraid that it will all come to pass one day yet i really cannot help it. i am really the kind of person that likes to make decisions fast. be sure. i hate HATE draggy issues.

lost of thought cos talked to sheppy on msn. quote sheppy "RAHSSSS"

okok this one must write...

to miss KKL/SHAN DIAO/CHANTEL/CHANTELLE/ALUMINUM FOIL my dearest sheppy! (write all ur nickname should be ok lah since only people i know read my blog haahaa!! and i no photo of u leh ):) although sometimes i may poke fun at you (all in good humour) i will still carry your armour lah even though it might get heavy haahaa!! cos i still appreciate u sheppy!!! (: jia you u can do it!!

i love the photo above. it was just a random shot yet its just so nice! (: class outing for zying's birthday a while back...

BONDI ARRR!! this is for u ok? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! i know u dont wanna celebrate but hey bondi i love u ok! foreverZZZZzzz and everZzzzz!! (the no. of Z like i falling asleep while delcaring my love for you) haahaa i love u sooo MUCH that i drag mr cookie all around singapore's orchard for you!! SARANG HAEE!!! *does heartshape with hands* never stoop laughing and smiling and sleeping besides CPU and being a WONDERFUL roll of toilet paper. haahaa cos if u r not all these than u wont be bondi alr right! :)

NAH!!! for my fellow shinhwa lover CHAN XINHUI who has photobucket password and whom i have her photobucket password too!! (haahaa) my fellow SHINHWA buddy and PARK supporter and fellow assasin in killing dahnana. YES U DAHNANA!! haahaa secret closet SISSIES LOVER. eh ur butter bread at my hosue turning mouldy already lah. and be careful ok i think xinhui will assasinate u one day. really. haahaahaa

AND NO I AHVE NOT FORGOTTEN U GUYS!! my darlassss!! (sounds abit weird to use on kit) BUT STILL... HENG I CAN NEVER SAY THIS ENOUGH I REALLY MISS YOU!!! ahhh sigh. all the best to BOTH OF YOU for ur mid years (note: KIT AR THE STUDYING MOOD WILL NEVER COME ONE) haahaa. we'll meet up soon after the midyears and have a cuppa TCC n chocolate lave cake bread pudding and of course BUFFET. haahaa

TICK TOCK AND THE CLOCK CANT STOP (:

ps: intended to write a short one but counldnt stop once i started blogging. haahaa!

glorify!!!

2006-06-15T07:09:00.001-07:00

hello
sorry for the lack of updates my com is spoilt :( made me grumpy for the whole day. so yep busy with studies and the lack of my com shall deter me from blogging to a certain extent.
church camp really refreshed me. refreshed me to seek god more. refreshed me to have additional faith... no regrets going there despite initial bitterness (:

ahhh i really really miss heng especially after talking to her that day. ahhh my dear souldtalker.

i am still searching for some answers but i believe that He will lead me out of it. even though sometimes i fear that my faith will diminish bit by bit.
faith is a tricky issue huh... (:

Keep walking

2006-06-04T03:33:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really wonder what gives each and everyone the motivation in life to keep walking in life. for me, i guess it would be safe to say that i draw strength from God but what about other people? like when the going gets tough where do you turn to. how do you just keep walking? is it the typical simple "it will all blow over" mentality or what is it actually? i really dont know.

also... i really really envy people with liken TEN years or just friendships which last a long long time, now just KNOW the person but really be friends with the person. the kind that you have been thorugh thick and thin together and the perosn basically knows all your flaws and yet at the end of the day can still safely say that he or she loves you. its so difficult to find to source for. of course i dont have much experince of these super long friendships considering that i am only 18 (having 10 years long of friendship would mean i knew the person at 8). but sometimes i feel/think that as the years go on the friendship just gets thinnner and thinner. you begin to see the person's flaws and everything else ugly comes out. how do u bring yourself to look beyond all the flaws and just at the person and think "hmmm... this person i still love despite..." i really long to have this kind of friendship but i will tell u in another maybe 4 years? haahaa i'm unsure as well.

i read in reader's digest that you should end a friendship when you wonder of it even started in the first place. but hey, i think that logic is bullshit. i mean that is but one of the guidelines but sometimes a friendship ends because people change and when people change u realise that you are no longer very suited to be friends anymore. how bout that? or maybe the person has not changed and all the flaws remain there and you decide, hey there is only so much bullshit i can take from you alright? i dont really know exactly but i guess the key to the whole issue is just to move on... dont dwell on what has passed or (however cliche it may sound) you will never move into the future. we all learn to let go at some point in time.

its times like these when i begin to see how great God's love is for me. i mean i must be full of bullshit sometimes as well okok what i am trying to say is i have my flaws and i am not perfect yet... He can love me still. In him I find the strength to keep walking and walking. i really marvel at the faith people can have sometimes even when bad things happen to them. Like Joan she contracted cancer and yet her faith in the Lord is ever so steadfast. how does one do that? i stand amazed at the amount faith.

things NOT to do when i meet shinhwa

2006-06-02T06:36:00.000-07:00

woah saw thw shinhwa autograph session off you tube. one word to describe their korean fans: CRAZY. maybe INSANE would be better. they are really mad. so here is my list of things NOT to do shold i ever meet shinhwa or anybody i like...

#1 START CRYING.
there was this girl who started BAWLING when she say hyesung. wah lau eh so malu can? what is the star supposed to do? gove u tissue paper meh? so weird. like you both look at each other than u start crying your eyes out. honestly if i was the star i would be like freaked out. also!! this is impt... you queue up so long just to see him and you CRY? wasted lah the effort. might as well say something useful... which brings me to my next point

#2 RAMBLE NON STOP
there are like numerous fans the minute they reach the table they talk NON STOP. like just blah blah blah. trying to squeeze as much as possible within the few mins that u get to meet them. its crazy can? its like you eat up all ur punctuations and once again if i am the star i will be FREAKED OUT ALSO. imagine someone u dont know suddenly comes up to you and BLAH BLAH I LOVE YOU BLAH BLAH.. NON stop. how will u react? i will be like "okok i get ur point" and back off as fast as possible.

#3 SHAKE HANDS AND NOT LET GO
there was this girl who met minwoo and wouldnt let go of his hand. SO WEIRD. like wth? very scary can? minwoo had to like literally DETACH his hand from hers. i think if i am the star i will be super FREAKED OUT. why u canot let go of my hands? u want it meh? like so weird right? but according to the Buffet (KIASU) logic which jamie and xinhui live by in this instance it would be... "WAH QUEUE SO LONG MUST HOLD TIL GOU BEN" haahaahaa

#4 WEAR ANIMAL SUITS (yes you heard me right)
this girl turned up as a COW (in a cow costume) for minwoo and another turned up in a KANGEROO costume. i mean u wanna laeave an impression but isnt that too much? HAAHAA i think it will be damm weird like i dun undertsand what can u achieve? haahaa i mean i dont want shinhwa or anybody for that matter to think i m siao what. SO WEIRD!! and u will serve as comic relief to the rest of the fans who are in the queue.

last point is what u SHOULD do...

#5 FIND OUT IF THE STAR UNDERSTANDS YOUR LANGUAGE/WHAT U ARE SAYING
this is VERY IMPT. there was this girl who went to germany and met shinhwa. than she approached junjin who like had the WORST english. so she was like "you are junjin from shinhwa right?" and he was like YEAH. and she rambled on and on about how much she like him blah blah etc. and he replied "YEAH". and than she asked if she can take a photo and he said.. (guess) YEAH again. and while she looked into her bag he WALKED AWAY. so now that specific girl is declaring to the world that she hates junjin cos he was RUDE. HELLO?! when u talk and talk and all the person says is YEAH. something HAS TO BE WRONG. u should have realised no? i didnt think he understood anything she said except for the first sentebce which had his name. haahaahaa. so yah this is very very impt :)

Let the wind sweep you off your feet

2006-06-01T03:25:00.000-07:00

what is it like to walk in a park in autumm.
the weather's just turning cold and you have a cup of warm starbucks coffee in your hands.
you are wearing your favourite outfit.
that trenchcoat, those boots and the beautiful scarf.
you sit down on the bench in the park with the wind grazing your cheeks
you sit down at that specific bench
your best friend comes along and sits beside you.
both of you do not speak yet...
there is something so comfortable in the silence between the both of you
its almost as though there is no need for words
your years of friendship have definitely amounted to so much more that that
nope, no words need to be spoken
wouldnt that be nice?

haahaa i always thought that the scenario above would be so ideal. the friendship would be so special for the both of you. its like you all just know what the other person is thinking just by the smallest gestures even though nothing is being said. just some random thoughts...

woah today is a good day. enjoyed cell!! :) haahaa managed to talk to heng and confirm a day for kim sam soon outing and kit can make it too! hopefully nothing crops up that day. i really wanna meet them and watch kim sam soon together. man those two just bring me alot of joy haahaa the way i am talking about them sounds like i am talking about my kids. (touch wood) watched love letter and laughed my head off. shinhwa is so entertaining. haahaa

was having those one off moods the past few days. didnt feel quite right and even slightly down. but hey, its just one of those phases. i think God is trying to tell me to lean on him more as strangely enough the past few days when though i feel down it was very God filled. in a way i was very sensitive to the holy spirit. really thank god for all his blessings though i may be down at times and may dissapoint at times.

its necessary to find an outlet for all your fustrations once in a while. haahaa :P for me its like suddenly making random comments or just going AHHHHHH!!! or even muttering to myself. or comefort food. or korean enetertainment and even God. haahaa

A big bulb

2006-05-31T05:39:00.000-07:00

i have been inetnding to write a rather humourous post yet somehow everytime i turn on blogger for some weird reason the mood just fades away. especially with the music that is playing in the background. totally cannot link to my funny mood. for example today would be micheal buble's home. hmmm... maybe its the music in my com. seems so unable to fit my mood.

i think i am getting tired recently. tired from what? i ahve no idea either. just feel exhauted mentally, physically and perhaps even spritually. feel damm tired now as i write this post. bleargh. hopefully camp will be able to re-energize me (:

to live for God and his glory
because nothing matters more
nothing else is eternal
His love will never fail us
He will never fail us
yet sometimes its just so difficult
so difficult to do what's right
and walk away from all temptations
the spirit is willing but the body is weak

God is my lamp so you will never block out the light at the end of my tunnel.

finally understand what xinhui means by guilt attack.

And the world spins

2006-05-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

sometimes it gets really tiring.
it gets confusing
thoughts get random
i guess its the issue i have been struggling with
its really time to let go
and move on
and Yes i am ready now

secure in the Lord.

i really need to learn to lean on God more and less on people.

Honesty, Trust in the Lord

2006-05-26T05:42:00.000-07:00

i thank God for always being there for me whenever i need. even when sometimes i dont really really feel his presence but i know somehow or rather that he iwll always be my side. this week has been a really blessed week.

sometimes i sit on front of blogger and i dont know what to say even when there are like tons of thoughts gushing in that little mind of mine. today as i stepped into one of my last debate meetings a certain sentimental feeling swept over me. all the times in the year(s) when i complained bitterly that i had to attend debate when all i want to do is just to either (a) sleep or (b) go out with my friends. some memories of debate sessions start to make me think and me me wonder in amazement at God's plan for me. from the times i had my mojo to the times i lost it yet somehow i dont seem to regret any momnet of it. it made me learn and know more about myself that otherwise would not have been possible. all the competitions and working together as a team or just sitting around chatting and prepping of our case at swensens. the change of a LOUSY coach to a GOOD one. yes SHE was LOUSY. *am still bitter aboout it haahaa* its a whole dofferent kind of experience taht i guess i couldnt have done without :)

thanks to all my NY debate team members.

ps: return me my MOJO lahhh....God pls lehhhh....

human beings are all bound to fail us at sometime or many points in our life. the key is to move on and if possible, forgive. i feel tired sometimes but my energy source will not run out on me. sook comfort in the Lord. i need to understand more. i just dont understand some flaws and mistakes that people make... i am not perfect i know that but at the same time, why would someone do the things he/she does? i pray for more understanding and love in my heart.
i am learning slowly to depend more on God and less on human beings. He is afterall the almighty and because he is God he will never fail me. Wonder how life will be if i am not a christian. will i be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel?
give ur best. never give up!!! HWAITING!!

ask and you will recieve, whatever u need. (strangely relevant this month)

What a wonderful world (:

2006-05-24T06:32:00.000-07:00

i wanna chnage my blog template but i dont have the time!! and i cannot bear to take away my tagboard! haahaa thanks to all the weirdos i love my tagboard now.

TODAY I WENT TO THE ZOO!!! woohoo. had a wonderful time thanks to ALL my classmates. and all the singing and monkeys and chicks (or lack thereof) it was a good day my dear friends. haahaa thanks for the wonderful company. cannot wait for the photos. zying's radar was a work and for the first time i saw THREE human beings chase after a kangeroo for photos. CHASING i tell you. and an uncooperative TIMON who doesnt want to bother about melissa. and w hole lot of animal BUTT in a day (and NADZ explaination for it!), kangeroo testicles (which ZYING was very amused by), and overly sexually active lions (they can mate liek once every 15 mins when in season.) and Emily's comments towards the lions sexual habits, xinhui's nice smelling aircons, LAI BAH KUA's trams and the list of laughter triggers just go on and on... :)

thanks guys!

love is in the airr

2006-05-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

ok so my TAGBOARD is being infested by strangely weird people so i shall now decode who is who!!

mystery no 1:mr steve chiang!! ok lah his name is actually shin hyesung.
wonderful voice and weird personality
dah (mrs steve chiang) this is for you

and here we have my one true love #1; mr KIM DONGWAN!!! hottness
nice body good looks and a nice voice and DOMESTICATED
warning: high levels of narcissm

my PARK CHONGJAE!! woohoo. one true love also for me
hot bod nice voice and nicely symmetrical face.

this ONE is the ONE everyone is fighting for... *though i dont really understand*
mr LEE MINWOO
from this pic i think you all understand all the squabbling on my tagboard right?
XINHUI MEL AND (the dog in the manger)JAMIE haahaa

why doesnt sg have guys like this?
why o why?

You and me (lifehouse)

2006-05-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

i am a sucker for rock ballads like nickleback, lifehouse and three doors down. i rather my bf sing me these than alll the sappy love songs. heehee :) thanks to emma'a bday celebration HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMS! hope u liked FISH AND CO. wonderful day yesterday. tiring, bitter and a whole bucket of happiness at the same time. heehee go figure.

i am once again in love with this song.

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you

Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of

You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive

Sarang Hae Chingoos of 05A5A

2006-05-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

fun.laughter.joy.bitterness(*cough cough*) and a missing class tee. haahaa
all in the best sense
oh yes and WONDERFUL birthday celebrations
and an upcoming wonderful zoo visit.
CHINGOOS OF 05a5a :)

random ramblings

2006-05-16T06:04:00.000-07:00

i dont like afternoons especially the time at say one plus to four plus. it feels like such an odd time of a day. i like mornings and nights. yes especially at night because there is a strange feeling of serenity and calmness all around. at night we are finally done with the hassle of everyDAY life. maybe i feel like that because i live in singapore and here, we are constantly in the rush and we dont have four seasons. this kinda eliminates the breezy afternoon walks on a spring/autumm day. afternoons here are just (at least for this time of the year) HOT. and i dont like the heat. so much for a romantic randition of the weather. loll.

was reading cleo just now and they were like how to get over menstration cramps. cleo gave this piece of advice "focus in the things you can do or wanna do nonce the cramps are gone" (not the exact wording buy hey, you get the gist ya?) and i thought to myself ok... so what am i going to do when my cramps are gone... er... study? YES STUDY. that's it. period. nada. end of story. that is all there is to it ladies and gentlemen. that is all i have been doing nowadays. but hey, i have been trying to make the best out of it. stuyding is only for now. when the a levels come to an end ill mark off my checklist and dive into the things i wanna do :P
1) take korean lessons
2) learn the piano (again)
3) sign up with amore (kick Boxing again!!! and even yoga!! haahaahaa)
4) travel!!

okay the gist of it would be to have a meaningful and fulfilling life. and to be more committed to God also. now time and certain circumstances just dont really aloow me to do much. bleargh. okok no excuses. but i really hope that i will be able to do that as its not really an east task (to me anyway)... :)

had an outing with the gourmet bunnies that day and ate an obscene amount of food. haahaa as always anyway. those two ar, really no one beats the company they provide. this friendship is so uniquely special between the three of us. really cannot seem to pin point the exact words for it. Gracey and Kitty Boy you guys are lovedddd *makes random smooching sounds*

Kiss!

2006-05-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

heard this song and it put a smile on my face! :)
hmm... will i ever find someone who will kiss me and sweep me off my feet? haahaa

Is it in his kiss
Aretha Franklin

Does he love me?
I wanna know!
How can I tell if he loves me so?

(Is it in his eyes?)
Oh no! You need to see!
(Is it in his size?)
Oh no! You make believe!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
Its in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)

(Oh yeah! Or is it in his face?)
no girls! It's just his charms!
(In his warm embrace?)
no girls! That's just his arms!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It's in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)
yeah!! Its in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)

Oh, oh, oh, honey !
Squeeze him tight!
Find out what you wanna know!
promise love, and if it really is,
It's there in his kiss!

(How 'bout the way he acts?)
no no no! That's not the way!
You're not listenin' to all I'm sayin'!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It's in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)
Oh, yeah! Its in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)

Oh, oh, oh, hold him !
Squeeze him tight!
Find out what you wanna know!
promise love, and if it really is,
well It's there in his kiss!

(How 'bout the way he acts?)
no no no! That's not the way!
You're not listenin' to all I'm sayin'!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It's in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)
Oh, yeah ! Its in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)
mmmm ! Its in his kiss!
(that's where it is)
mmmm is in his kiss

A Phase?

2006-05-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

the past few days have been filled with a lil amount of fear in my heart which grew bigger and bigger and now, i just plugged it. believing that things will turn all alright cos hey the power behind me is great no? okay so what is it which i was so fearful of?

i have been fearing the future.

i know how some people are so excited to leave jc and head on to the future. take the bold steps and enjoy uni life however, i feel so different. strangely enough, i begin to fear the future. how will uni life be like? what kind of people will i meet?

maybe i am having such fears becuase i have really met a great bunch of people in NY. no matter how stressed/bitter i am, i get to school and see them and i will become a bungle of laughter. whethr is it all the DEEP converstaions i have with jamie about totally random things or my profound converstaions with xinhui (mostly about how we are state of the art) or even totally random ramblings with reena or or even with zying's aged old ah mu and parsley debates and her puesedo chinese accent... these people (the whole of my class) just make me feel so at home. i feel really really blessed to be in this class and yet maybe its because i feel so comfortable and happy with them i cannot really imagaine how school will be like without them... how will it be like to walk down the corridors without melissa's poison and fury and emma's bitterness or jamie and dah's foodfights or even xinhui's roaring (HAAHAA)?!

i think that in my whole school life this is indeed one of the best class i have ever been in :) but i guess we all learn in someway or somehow to always find out own directions in life no? what will it be like when we all spread our wings and fly?

i really wonder...

i am not sure how to end off this entry haahaa but i know i want to end it off on a happy note so ....

AYE CLASS I LOVE U LAH CAN? haahaahaahaa

Not a Saint

2006-05-04T04:09:00.000-07:00

aigoo i dont knwo what to write and what kind of mood i want to reflect in this entry. okay shall type whatever comes to mind :) i have been thinking about some things and i guess its time to return "home" already. like these few weeks have not been splendid, i mean everything is fine but i guess i am feeling the pressure and i dont knwo how to deal with it. want to work hard the spirit is willing but the body is weak and so i succumb to temptations. sigh. i felt as though i was running an endless race not knwoing where the ending will be so i was rebellious and angry... why why should i be caught up in this race like everyone else? so every morning my walk/run to school would be filled with angsty thoughts and i would talk (aka Complain) to god about all the things in my life. YET... i forget that He walks beside me the whole way. time to be more selfless. less of me and more of him.

so much needs to be done but i will prevail for the Lord gives me strength...

quote xinhui "When you dont do things the Lord's way, you feel liberation at first and after that you just sink down." the importance of living life alongside god you will always feel loved and blessed. shall have to make the constant effort to keep my actions in check. i dont knwo how to pen down the following thoughts but even though we believe in God we are all human and bound to err someway. just pray that God will transform us.

no worries when God is with you. People only worry because they are uncertain how things will be like but in God's hands i will be safe :)

so your best and god will do the rest.

i pray to become a better person and walk Home.
make a decision on somethings need to follow through.

oh yes i think God really uses my friends to speak to me. haahaa :P

Not wasting it away

2006-05-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

playing "home" by Buble on repeat now. what a threapeutic song. its so soothing. sometimes there is nothing else you want but to return home (or at least a place u can call home).
for me, home would be a place i can feel god or just a place where i can walk with him.

i have alot to say but i guess i will just let the actions prove it.

so much to do but there is also so much to be thankful for...

smelling fresh feeling fresh

2006-04-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

wah what can i say? another wonderful day out. company was 100% wonderful haahaa make that 101% *grins*

i love ba kua queen, collage queen, miss china (SHEN RI KUAI LE), dah-nana (aka mrs Steve), miss singapore/bollywood, small loser, White horse, Internal conflict, XIN kong (aka Eric's future WIFE *mumbles* p..s..y), Vinny and mr lee...

lets wait for the photos to update.

in the meantime... THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL OUTING (as always) haahaa :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZYING A DING DING!

must chop chop settle

2006-04-28T01:20:00.000-07:00

Hello! haahaa damm good mood today :) meeting the girls from o5a5a laters so oblky got about one hour to gao dim everything. not going to type in good english lah too lazy. let me release for one day/ entry. so since only got limited time left i must chop chop settle (read title) this entry.

in this entry my affirm my sheppy Miss Keh Keh Lai- CHANTEL!! really feel alot better after talking to her (despite the fcat that she blessed herself with my food and all her KKL logic) . so KUM SA HA MI DAAA sheppy! i love you lah can? will bless you with more food soon.

oh yes i am getting abit worried cos my brother has been SUPER sweet to me recently. haahaa dunno what he wants but better siam fast fast. okay lah i shouldnt be so evil. he is like SUPER SWEET i love you didi (if you areeading thiss). *does heart shape with hands*

okay just totally random now must go and read about russian revolution.
read someone's blog and i feel damm blessed. i dont knwo how to tell it to you i guess you will just have to experience for yourself.

OH~~~~~~~~
ps: heng you tube not working if not i sure gone case.

Mirror

2006-04-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

hmm had so much to day but when i get down and type the words seem stuck and all my mind can think about is the econs MCQ that i left undone to come online and blog and vent and let out all my thoughts/fustrations/feelings i have been feeling this week. screw the lousy sentence structure, seriously...

i am begining to feel the pressure of JC life and it is really not good. for the past few days and slightly today (though i have almost come to terms with it) i have turned into a bitter monster. dont you remember the days that gave your life some kind of anticipation and excitement? well, now its just BOOKS. yes yes i know that with God everyday is an adventure and i would honestly love to think that my jc life is an adventure as well which it is most of the time but sometimes, the going gets tough... i dont want to live every minute of my life thinking about books and how far behind econs revision i am. there has to be more to all of this.

turning into a mean green BITTER monster

but than as i headed down to the hospital something inside me changed. true i may not be able to see the drive in me still (maybe because i am too easily conetented, which i am in certain areas of my life) but i begin to realise that i hvae a very myopic view on things. there are so many people out there trying to get pass day by day and yet, i am bitter over these issues? nobody's problems are insignificant but its just that you will begin to realise the magnitude of things. how BIG the world is.. how much needs to be done. i cant really put it into words but i guess its like people are fighting for survival and deadly dieseases and here i sit whinning?

well one thing i feel really blessed about in NY despite all the stress are my friends. as i was telling jamie today i really dont know how i will manage to head down to UNI without their company. i mean i have never been in such a chummy class before where i literally can feel the love for each other. i mean my primary school classmates are nice but at that point in time we were still KIDS... my secondary school was not bad but my jc class is just the cherry on top of the cake. i mean the way our class pieces together is just so... nice (: really love my classmates. i will really miss them when we have to part.

how is it that when i pray for you the words flow so easily yet i remain helpless in this situation? but i will still keep the faith in the Lord that he will ALWAYS be my guide. the task ahead of me will never be as great as the power behind me...

Psalms 139

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

i really cannot imagine life without the Lord.