Loss.

ah i am at a loss now. should i or shouldnt i? should i do something i really dont mean? what should i do? maybe it was my fault perhaps. But i cannot forget the past the entire past. i ask my heart why or rather what is it that motivates me to do the things i have to do. i dont feel good no i dont but i have no idea what to do either. i really dont. ah crap :/

if there's one thing i hate is being confused. ah screw it.

follow my heart and leave things as they are.
do something against my will and put an end to things.

which alternative. i wonder.