i miss...

i miss going to church. i miss god. i miss singing songs to him and having him speak to me in sermons. i really want to return to him. i cannot wait for the end of the promos. i want to return to church and hear the lord speak to me again. thank him for all the blessings he has given me time and time again even though i constantly have doubt about my faith. i yearn to be by his side again singing praise and worship. i feel myself blacksliding nowadays as i try with all my might to grasp the things around me. i wish for him to be with me every step of the way.

i remember my friends telling me that we should leave things in the hands of god. we really should. because whenever we try to over control things the results will be disasterous. i need to have more faith in Jesus i really need it. he really does fill me up in every way. i remember vividly how he touched me and i cried during prayer. i was angry and crying out how god was simply unfair to me due to some things that happened so i prayed. i prayed for strength and serenity. i prayed for him to make me a better person and i prayed for him to allow me to forgive whatever hurt was inflicted on me. and something touched me deep down inside that got me crying. i didnt know how.

i just felt really touched and tears rolled down my cheeks. i dont think i m a great person yet but i will work on it. i will ask god for assitance. to give me the courage and to give me the strength to pull through. everything happens for a reason. i honestly believe that for god puts everything in your life for a reason, a good one. there is a void in your heart that only god can fill.

god is always there for you all you have to do is believe.