Weird post ahead

Post ahead does not indicate my mood/what am i gg to do :)

Well well, been reading some blogs of people i know and maybe dont know so well and than something struck me. Isnt it bloody easier to be a bad person?
We fight all the time within ourselves to not lose our temper, lie, cheat or get involed in any form of activities that might not be deemed morally desirable. All your life when you try to keep on the right track. But just sometimes i wonder isnt it so much easier to say "you know what forget it or rather just fuck it all" and u leave everything behind. all ur goodness all ur rightousness all the things which u tried so hard to keep. all the things which you thought made u the person u are.

isnt it easier to just scoff and walk away? to be the worst person u can ever be. Hey go and take drugs go and smoke just go ahead and screw ur life away? hey that's a form of liberation too. as warped as it sounds i kinda entertained these weird thoughts (even though i will never do it cos i just cannot deal with the fact of wasting my life away) ok but my point is who placed these moral standards on your shoulders? who should decide what is right and wrong for you? i mean u have a brain right? so now, with this bring the case why would u want to have anything to do with this earth and all its moral responsibilities.

heck if there were no limitations in life why not run away from home? Chain smoke? Take drugs? consume all the alcohol you can? and not give a shit about any third wourld countries while u buy a twenty five thousand dollar LV handbag i mean who cares about charity right? oh yes and buy nike shoes even though there have been reports that they expliot labour. than again who gives a damm? i just want the nice branded shoes. Be a bitch. yeah why not just do all of that? or even better donate money to get on the cover of some bloody newspaper. yeah how bout that?

than again i cant do any of that. why? because should that be the case you will see no meaning in life and i will NOT allow my life to be wasted away like that. NEVER. i want to live each day to the max i dont want to look back on life and just shurg my shoulders. i dont want to look back and think that the only skills i have ever picked up are chain smoking or taking drugs. i want my life to have purpose to have meaning and not just bum around. if u wanna live life like this you might as well be dead cos hell, there would be no bloody difference. :) Fight for yourself cos no one else will fight for u. only the weak succumb.

saturate me. flood my spirit. at you throne i will lay down.