Endless discovery

as this year comes to a close i ponder over the changes that i have made throughout this year. i ponder about a million things and most importantly i ponder about my decision to become a child of God and where it has taken me. i can safely say that i have not regretted this decision. it is a decision that was perhaps made with little understanding but a decision that reaped great and fabulous rewards and of course, a degree of increasing understanding.

as i write this entry i begin to discover my great love for writing in itself. i love placing my emotions in words not to seek understanding or recognition but merely to express myself. there is a certain joy ( and sometimes fustration) in finding the right words to depict the life you go through and share the emotions that you experience.

i have learnt to let go of certain things and to be patient for others. while i still need to undertsnad and grow to a greater degree i choose to keep the faith and belief.

one thing that has been greatly impressed upon my heart this year is the need for a firm unwavering faith by which you make all your decisions. some may find this in their family or perhaps friends. but for me (having tried various alternatives) i believe that the only place where i will place this firm grounding by which my life and my decisions stand would be that of God. feel free to explore deep within yourself and see for yourself where or what does your whole life base itself upon. i think you might just be shocked with what you find. when you have your answer, or when you discover that you have a lack of an answer, it will put into place alot of questions you might have in your life. everyone needs something to base their life upon perhaps a set of value system that does not change with time. the crux perhaps is not in whether it is right or wrong but more of whether YOU can live with it. if your grounding is weak you will constantly feel your world being thrown out of proportion you will feel deluded and eventually, lose your sense of hope.

the last paragraph was really difficult to write as i approached it trying to divide my views from my christian faith. it seems somehow or rather the two are as one. as i walk on this road called life i begin to realise that every person and every circumstance brings about something that we can learn. nothing is insignificant. and of course i believe that nothing is by conincidence, i just refuse to go through life believing that it is made up of chances and luck. this point of view i feel makes the meaning of life ring deafeningly hollow.