Emmanuel :)

hello. i have been doing alot of thinking about god, religion and christianity and i dont really know how i should put into words all that i feel. but i shall try though i dont really knwo what will come out of it. recenlt i have found that i am often in doubt of my faith. people may tell me that this may be the doing of the devil and all. maybe it could or it may be due to my weak faith. god has always been good to me and i think i am reallt blessed yet recently i have lost this feeling of walking close to god and i have been desperately trying to revive that feeling. i listen to the music and i think over all the times he has answered my prayers and how he always undertsands me and knows me. but i couldnt regain that feeling i really couldnt. i felt lost and i wanted to draw closer to him.

i caught sight of my bible and i decided to spend some quiet time. i pondered for a moment not knowing where to start and than i remembered someone teeling me to start in the book of john. and i did. i flipped and read page after page. there jesus mentioned on how people only have faith when they see the miracles and actually see it happen. and i realised that this is rather true for me. i feel like i need to see before i believe. and this few days i seem to have lost the abillity to put all my faith in him.

some skeptical people may think that god does not exist but he really does and you will only come to know this feeling when you give your faith to god. trust him to set things right. believe in him to make things better for you.

Up til now i am not sure if i have regained full faith in Jesus but i really want to. i really do. have i started to take him for granted? but there is one thing i have realised...
blind faith is tough so god tries to show us how he cares for us through answering our prayers and making things in life better for us. i will at some point in time regain my faith in him. mu full faith. but for now, i think i need some time to do just that. to sort out all my thoughts and clear my head.

i know that i will regain my faith in him as i understand what he is trying to tell me. i dont need to see to have faith and i know he will always be my side. always.

its you i am living for.