Light alas!

hello! the past few days have been a blur i really have no idea what to make of it. all i know was that the past few days (today included) have been filled with a kind of negativity. i was so caught up being stressed up and feeling my mind with all sorts of negative feelings to the point whereby i myself at times felt unhappy. if there is something the workshop today taught me (intentionally or unintentionally) was to remain positive. I really have no idea hot did my positivity sink so low. rick down that it hit rock bottom. i felt stupid, lost and stressed out. but i have decided to adopt my old attitude back and fill myself with positivity. Its funny how one debate competition can just thorw you totally of track. i really hvae to focus on me and what i wanna become. i wanna become a better person. one that is positive and filled with emtions. not one that is too engrossed in my own world.

I dont really know where my chiristian walk is at this point in time. i know i am not as connected as in the past but than again sometimes god just pops into my mind Like today at training whenever the trainer saod things that focused on YOU YOU YOU or I I my mind will just immediately turn to God. and thoughts like "just turn to god" will pop into my head and i will think that whatever he is saying is just totally not as true as what is in my heart is the real force behind everything. or is it? i am having my doubts at times. to be honest sometimes i feel that i am just hanging on to my faith as to hvae some where to turn to and something to believe in when i lose hope. also, it could be nperhaps (no offence) i dont believe in other religions. and i like the christian emphasis on things .

on a lighter note, my computer is ill i need ta send it to someone to clean it up. and i hafta do it quick :) but i am too lazy. so how?!! ugrh.the bloody adwares. those companies should just go get shot or something. URGH.

The quote below is for grace and kitson cos i find it so relevant to our friendship. its so true. our friendship is not one whereby we have to meet every other day or talk everyday and every single time on msn but we will always know that our friendship is there. I dont know if we will be friends forever cos that is a long time and its not practical to say so but no matter what happens the quote below just says everything.
“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”
Even though we might not always be on the same track we will always remember each other :) haha that sounds quite sad but hey let us continue eating til we are old and have no more teeth and til we live in our penthouse with security fridges. up til the point when we are old and wthout teeth and be reduced to eating plain porridge. :(

P.S Grace (the pregnant laydee HAHA) and i bought the same presents for each other again this year! hahaha she is really my soultalker. Kitson i know i know i owe you ok! :D grace u betta bring my present! LOL

okay end of a long post. or at elast it feels long to me. LOL