Not a white sheet of paper (:

hellos people. let me first infrom everyone that today is VELENTINE'S DAY and i really thank all my classmates for all their sweeet little actions. your cards gifts chocoltaes they really do mean alot to me :) THANK YOU! *bows*

today i was rambling on throughout the day (for the fun of it) that i wanted to lock myself indoors and just avoid all public places than i wont have to see people act lovey dovey. So SO i thought that it was fairly safe me leaving school-->me going home-->me not having to do with all the kissy face people but NO i was wrong. at my void deck right smack in my face there was this couple doing just what i wanted to avoid. talk about luck huh. tehy were pushing and pulling touching here and there. WAH!! -____-" PDA PDA. HANKER PANKERS. okay okay i m just being dramatic.

today miss jeeva gave me a bookmark and she said that if i focus and put my heart and soul into something i will succeed. at that point in time, i began to think and it really did strike me. how did i lose all my drive? my determination? where did the passion in my dissolve to? so i think that from today onwards i will push myself harder and not succumb to laziness all that much. have to watch less tv too and maybe, blog less and basically study more. i have to get my drive back like ASAP. i dont wanna waste my time in jc i wanna do well and i really need to start.

Also, i want to be someone who lives life with passion. with something to propel me forward. i dont want to look back on my life when i am toothless and old and think that all my life has been is like a blank A4 sheet of paper. there has to be more than that. when i am old and i take up a pen to write down all my life has been i want to be able to fill pages and pages. i might not be able to do great things with the limited power i have with my life but i want my life to be an exciting one i want to basically live life to its fullest. :D

today i thought of church again. i want to go back this weekend perhaps. the people factor does count and for now, i am just not up to it. i dint wanna socialise i dont wanna waste time doing any of that any more. i just wanna focus on God and let him lead me. more independence and self assurance. make my own decisions and also, not bother so much about how others percieve me.

ps my friend spent his vday trapped in a lift maybe i shouldnt complain that much about hanker pankers. LOL